Being hard on myself

I have come so far and I know I've got a long way to go still, but I think its important for me to take some time to really let this all soak in and realize what an accomplishment it is to have gotten to where I'm at. Lately I feel myself seeing all these changes and being so excited that I've made them but the first thoughts in my head immediately afterwards are okay now just 5 more here and 10 more there and I can keep looking better and better. I feel like what I've done so far isn't good enough.

I think we are all too hard on ourselves, but at the same time i think its just because we are so frustrated with ourselves because we see where we are at and know that we could be doing better. We just havent figured out a way to get there, yet.

I'm working on getting there. And its true, where I'm at is still not healthy so its not exactly 'good enough'. But I'm not giving up or quitting. I just think that if this was anyone else, I would be telling them how beautiful they are and how amazing all their efforts so far have been. I'd tell them to be proud of where they've come from and to not worry so much about the end result because it's the journey in life that really matters, not the destination. In the end, we all die. The same theory should apply to any journeys we take though. Enjoy the ride...

I should be giving myself the same respect I give others. It's a little easier said than done sometimes but I'm going to try harder to do this more often.

Amazing what putting your mind to work can do

It truly amazes me how putting forth a little extra effort can give you a whole lot of results. I used to feel like all I had to do was the physical if I wanted to see a change, and that is hard all on its own. But I've really come to understand its sooo much more than that. Putting your mind in the right place should be the absolute first step in any life changing decision you are going to make for yourself. It sounds so easy when you put it that way, almost as if you feel stupid for not thinking of it right off the bat. However, its not as easy as it sounds. In fact, its a lot more difficult.

I am very proud of how far I've come in such a little amount of time and I have so many influences to thank for this. I think the most important ones though are the ones that affect how my mind thinks and approaches this new challenge in my life. It's very easy for me to tell someone that they need to get their mind in the right place to go on this journey to a healthier lifestyle. It's very hard to explain how to do that. I'm not really sure I can. Its probably just one of those things in life that take time to realize...

Anyways... :)

I am soooo excited today! I finally reached 229 lbs! I have been saying for years now that I would give anything to be back in the 220s range like I was before I was pregnant. I would look at old pictures of myself and think man, I was a lot prettier than I gave myself credit for and I should have had more confidence back then because of it. I would think about how much of a huge blob I had become since then and just get depressed and keep wishing I knew how to change back to the old me. Well I'm so happy I've made it to the 220s! Just 4 more lbs and I will be at my pre-pregnancy weight exactly. I can't wait to say, wow I haven't looked this good and been this healthy in over 3 years!

The closer I get to these smaller goals of mine, the more real it feels that I could be at my goal weight in less than 1 years time. I'm feeling amazing today and going to kick butt on all my workouts and push just that much harder! Going to keep eating right and not let myself get distracted by things that don't really matter. :)

Happy Easter!

Been a busy last few days with all the Easter stuff going on around here but I've still managed to keep up with exercising. That kickboxing thing is really kicking my ass. but I love it. I'm always pouring sweat when its all over with, lol.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday and while she was out having lunch and a movie with my dad I was to make her birthday cake. Of course it was too tempting not to sample the mix and the frosting. ugh! I havent eaten cake since before I started all this and so of course the second I could see and smell it I was like OMG cake! lol. Then they get home and I find out they went to red lobster and they brought back a huge ass sack full of left over cheddar biscuits and the most chocolately tripple chocolate huge slice of cake i've ever seen. Told me to take a bite to try it and I couldnt refuse that. lol. I had one of the cheddar biscuits even though I tried to talk myself out of it. I said screw it because I get to eat anything from red lobster maybe once in 3 years at most. hah. Then Jett starting bringin me piles of easter candy to open for him and of course i didnt want him to eat that much at once so i only gave him a few pieces and while im sitting around watching one of our new netflix movies i find myself mindless noming the other candies he left in my lap! So needless to say, yesterday's eating habits did me in. I was down to 230 and hoping to be at 229 today but after eating all that I figured I'd not be there yet. I wasnt sure how bad it was but stepped no the scale today and it was up 3 lbs! ugh!!! but i worked my butt off in today's workouts and have been eating perfectly all day so far, and checked my weight again, im already back down a little over a pound. So hopefully with a little extra hard work it won't take me too long to get back to where I was. Thankfully I am not taking it as hard as I did this last time. I think its because I know aunt flow is due any day now and i've been craving sweets all week so I figured I was bound to be up a little at some point. lol.

Anyways, heres to kicking ass the rest of today and keeping it up tomorrow. :)