Thursday, November 28, 2013

Sooo busy!

I realize its been well over a month since my last post but not much has changed in the weight department. I keep teetering from 232 to 233 for the last few weeks now. My bike broke a couple weeks ago and so i haven't been able to use it to get to work and the weather got really bad so I had to start catching rides so there went my exercise... i don't have much time to do anything else since I work so much. I picked up a second job at the beginning of the month and now I cashier at the gas station in the mornings and then work at the daycare in the afternoons. I am the new schoolers teacher and get to be in charge of all the kids who we go pick up in the van from the elementary school nearby. So roughly 25 kids ages kindergarten through 5th grade all to myself for about 4 hours. I have to come up with projects for them to do and games to play in the gym or outside activities when the weather is good, etc. I wanted to quit the first week but I'm glad I stuck with it. Its rough being away from my own kids so much because by the time I get home there is only an hour until bedtime and often they are so worn out from their days they are already asleep when i get home so I try to spend as much time with them as I can when not working. That being said... Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I'm back to enjoy mine with my family! love you all!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Moving on along

So my weight on the scale had kind of come to a stand still for the last 3 weigh ins in a row but today it finally decided to move! I am down over 2 lbs from last week and now under my next goal of reaching 235!  I'm 234.4 this morning.

Also wanted to share a few photos of a couple of the dresses my friend sent and I tried on last Friday but am just now getting around to posting. These are the two that look the best so far and you can see in the first one that really I just need a little less tummy ripple and its great, then the second one I just need to be able to zip it in the back. The red jacket is covering it, but it will feel better once i can zip it all the way to the top. Excuse the cluttered mirror full of old pictures of friends and other people's kids. lol. Also, notice Bethany grabbing at my feet in the last photo. haha

Then just to share my lovely face with you all... here is a picture from Thursday. :D

As far as other things in my life are going... well I honestly had several breakdowns and panic attacks and still wasn't able to eat very well. I was waking up nauseated every single morning unable to eat most of the day so I called my doctor on Monday morning to set up an appt for the nausea symptoms. Once I actually got to see him though I told him what was really going on and what I thought to be the cause was of course stress from the breakup. He was proud of me for admitting that and said most women wouldn't divulge that personal information but he was glad I did since it made diagnosing me so much easier. He feels like I have a peptic ulcer and situational depression so I got prescribed some nausea medicine that I can take as needed, prilosec to fix the ulcer, and zoloft for the depression. I've taken Zoloft once before when my son was just a baby and I had post-partum depression. I was on it for 6 months and it completely changed everything about my life, which was a really good thing. Since I had taken it before with good results he went ahead and let me take that same one again. I started it on Monday and I know it can take a few weeks to really kick in, but I do already feel relief just knowing that I've gone to get help and I'm working on myself again now.

As far as how I feel about losing my relationship, still sad it's over but no obsessing over it anymore. I'm glad that I still have him as a very close friend and great father to my daughter and man to look up to for my son, etc. The only thing that's really changed so far is our title so thinking of it like that makes it a little easier. For now I'm okay, but I know when it comes time for us to eventually start dating new people I'm gonna be jealous of any girl he sees. lol. I'll cross that bridge when we get there though and try not to worry about the future or past even. Just gotta live for right now because you never know how long you've got.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Single mama of two....

Yeah... that pretty much sums out how this past week went. My fiance called it quits. He is still a wonderful amazing man and father to my children, even Jett who isn't biologically his, and we will always have a large place for each other in our hearts and lives. That being said, I have been completely devestated by the realization that we are not right for each other as far as relationships go. Honestly, still in a bit of shock and denial that is really the case but as it was not my decision I ultimately have no say in the matter. However, I do know that no matter how much in love I am with him and still want to be with him, I know that I do not want to be with him if I cannot make him as happy as he deserves to be. That would of course not make me as happy as I deserve to be... so yeah as you can see - I'm a big ball of emotion and tangled thoughts all over the place. I don't really wanna go more in depth than that on the matter though.

I thought this situation was going to send me in to a spiral of binge eating comfort foods, however I have strangely been sick pretty much every morning and barely been able to eat much all day. I have tried to make up for not eating much or many times by eating larger calorie foods though when I do eat but I'm not really sure if that's helping balance things out for my body or not right now. I was doing so well loggin with MFP and had 15 days in a row last time I checked but I haven't logged any this week. I am about to log today's meals though and see where I'm at.

I have also been getting out of the house a little more often to go for walks and started jogging again in between walking spurts. I've noticed a huge improvement in my endurance even though its been months since I did much running but I think I can contribute it to getting cardio everyday that I work since I ride my bike to and from. Now that it is finally October and the weather is getting ready to dip back down to something breathable in, lol, I think I can finally start enjoying picking up running as a favorite hobby of mine again.

A friend of mine mailed me a ton of her favorite old dresses she is no longer able to wear and they arrived in the mail today. They could not have came at a better time with as how depressed as I've been this past week, they really cheered me up. I was pleasantly surprised that they all mostly fit already. I knew when she sent them that they were all one size smaller than I'm currently wearing and one of them is even 2 sizes smaller. I didn't try on that one because I know it will be way too tight right now, but the others looks well in most all places except for a little bit of belly pooch. It wasn't anywhere near as drastic as I thought it would be though and it looks to me like I could be able to wear these dresses out in public within the next month or so with some hard work on my part. I really needed that boost of confidence to help me stay on track during such a trying time in my life.

I'm not sure how things are going to turn out in the next several weeks or how my feelings will sway so please say a prayer or wish me luck or something because all I really know is that I need a lot of support from friends right now. <3 p="">

Monday, September 16, 2013

The best NSV yet...

So a few months back I mentioned, in this blogpost, how my son saw a picture of me when I had lost a significant amount of weight the first time around but did not recognize me. He asked me "Hey mama, who's that lady? She looks kinda like you, but skinny." This was a small blow to my self esteem of course but I knew I had already began working on getting back in shape and so I didn't let it sidetrack me much at all.

My newest Non-Scale Victory happened last night when I was least suspecting of course. lol. As I was getting ready to exercise and had just changed in to some workout clothes then came back in to the living room where my son and daughter were playing, he kinda stopped what he was doing to look at me in the face and said something along the lines of "Wow, mama you really are starting to look like you used to a long, long time ago." This of course caught me by surprise because I'm still heavier than I was in that picture and I wasn't expecting a 5 year old boy to take much notice to that sort of thing. The real kicker though was that he immediately followed this up with some added motivation. "If you just exercise a little bit more you will be there in no time!"

I love my son. :)

I'm feeling pretty great today, as far as fitness and health go anyways... I did have to take care of some legal matters that I wish I didn't but they aren't detering me from continuing to count my calories and be conscious of my eating. I woke up feeling extra skinny this morning and almost as if I was already in the body I once had for a short while. lol. I think I had several dreams about fitting in to old clothes again. I'm sure most of the good thoughts came from my son's observations but also because of reading about Sunshine's latest NSV over facebook just before I went to sleep. lol.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

I know... I know!

Yes It's been awhile since I've logged in and posted here. Fret not though because it wasn't entirely because I had fallen off track. It was mostly just that my life is so much busier now that I have a job and my fiance is off working in another city so he's not home to help me with the kids a lot of the time. There were definitely a few off days and after a couple weeks of staying the exact same I missed my weigh in the week before and didn't actually weigh in again until yesterday. To my great relief and joy, I am down about 4 lbs from the last time I checked the scale 2 weeks ago. There was a lot of stress with all the birthday party planning I had to get done for both kids and then there's also been a lot of stress with missing my fiance and so I havent made the best choices every single day but it has been quite a few days in a row now that I have been making great choices. I'm officially back to calorie counting with the help of myfitnesspal and my new phone. I can scan things and the calories automatically fill themselves in. Its great! lol. I've used it every day since Wednesday so far and the more consecutive days I get it done, the less likely I am to give up on it again. I've also been cutting out a lot of the caffeine and diet sodas and drinking more water. I've got a new pair of 10 lb weights as well that I am dying to find the time to break out and use. lol. I'm hoping I get the chance to do just that later on tonight. 

Anyways for those curious.... tadah here is my new weigh in - 236.4 which puts me about half a lb away from my next goal I've got written on the left sidebar here. I decided yesterday that I have another goal in mind though. With Halloween right around the corner and wanting to look good in whatever it is I end up wearing - It'd be super awesome to hit 220 lbs. That's the weight I spent the majority of my teens and early 20s at, just before I got pregnant with my son. While I know I still need to lose a lot more, it'll be nice to be back to a sort of regular (for me) size. I have right at a month and a half to get there and 16 lbs in that amount of time should be totally doable if I work at it and I intend to for sure!

Yes, that's Bethany's feet and skirt you see running through my picture. lol

Dressed up for my bestie's birthday.

I can see my face starting to thin out a little bit again finally.

A lot of my stress has been because I'm dealing with the kids on my own a lot. My parents are here to help of course but often that just stresses me out more because they don't always parent like I want my kids to be parented and so I have to correct them and my kids later. Also its really frustrating for Jett to have 3 different people telling him what to do all the time and so I know that's affecting his behavior but there isn't much I can do about it since I'm off working now. Him being in school most of the day is a small relief to me though. 

Then there's the fact that my fiance is getting to live with his friend kid free and they go off an do whatever things in their free time that they feel like... well mostly what his friend feels like as its his truck. I just kinda miss being able to drop things at any moment and go on a 3am roadtrip for no reason. lol. So I've been jealous of all his free time lately. I know he'd spend it with us if he could and he has spent as much as he can with us, but we're also trying to save up money and not spend it all on gas. We need to first afford a car and then get our own place so I understand him not being here every day off, etc. 

Yesterday was my best friend Ashley's birthday though and she wanted everyone to go hangout and skating with her. It wasn't actually a party, just a few of us getting together at the rink and making fools out of ourselves. I had a blast there and also got a pretty big shiner on one of my shins. lol. Afterwards I was able to convince my parents to take the kids home for a few hours while I rode along with some of the others and Ashley to go hit up Braums for dinner/dessert and then a local bar where one of them worked. We had her serve us delicious drinks and by the 3rd one I had to call it quits because I was totally gone already. lol. I hadn't had but 2 drinks since Bethany was born and being pregnant with her, and those were back on New Years so it's been quite a while for me! I was good earlier in the day with my eating and at Braums I made sure to just eat my grilled chicken and leave the bread alone. Since it was her birthday though I did order a junior cone of some ice cream so she wasn't the only one eating any. lol. I don't like cones though so I didn't eat mine. I don't feel any regret about my food or drink choices yesterday because I had a great time and made sure to think about what I was doing when I was doing it. Yesterday was a much needed break from reality for me and it came just when I really needed it. I feel like now I can move on from all the other stressors and just progress forward. 

I'm really excited to get back in shape, not just for me but for my fiance too. His absence really makes the heart grow fonder and he texted me a picture of him the other day looking really good with a smile on his face and his big blue eyes just staring back at me that I couldn't help but share on my page almost as if I'm bragging. lol. I did manage to see a friend of mine comment on the picture saying wow Jen, you've got yourself a good looking man right there. Score, it worked. haha. I wanna be able to send him pictures of me with a genuine smile on my face that he can feel proud of too though. Like I know its not super important or anything but I wanna be his arm candy when we go out and not just him be mine. 

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Month 2 back on track!

Look at me go being all dedicated this time around. Woo that sure feels good. lol.  I know its a lot more slow going this time but I'm still steadily losing and my fiance says he is proud of me and pointed out that I weighed a lot more the first time I started so of course its gonna fall off slower this time. I suppose thats true. He said I should calculate the percentages and that they would probably be comparable. I'm too busy/lazy to bother with that right now though.

I've been putting off blogging for quite some time now. I'm already on day 7 of a new challenge I started and just now getting around to telling you guys about it. lol. Its actually 2 challenges. A friend of mine created a facebook group for those 30 day challenge pictures. We decided to start the squats and arms challenges last Monday. I can definitely feel the burn every single day and am actually already noticing improvement in my movements. It's really awesome to have something I know I need to accomplish every single day but that also isn't something that takes a super long time so I can just tell myself hey get it over with already and move along with the rest of your day! lol. Next month we are going to start an abs challenge and something else. I think maybe some sort of cardio challenge.

I am still riding my bike to work every single day. It's tried to rain on me a couple times but its missed me by just minutes one day and a couple hours the next so far so good and I haven't had to ride home in the rain or ask my dad to give me a ride to work yet. I am also noticing a difference there in my stamina and my endurance. I know I've mentioned that already but it just keeps getting better. I think my legs are slimming up a little bit and I can see the most difference in my ankles. They aren't the cankles they were while I was pregnant and the next few months after the baby arrived. Lmao. I'm so excited to have ankles again!

Which brings me to this... tadah... my glorious ankles and sparkly red nail polish I just painted yesterday. lol. Though you can't really see the sparkles in this picture and my flip flop tan line is extremely noticeable. But even better - I'm down exactly 17 lbs in the last 2 months. YAY

When I took measurements though I was even more pleased. I am down 2 inches in my waist and 2 inches in my hips just in the last month!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

I'm so sleepy...

but I've been meaning to post here for days now. So here goes nothing. lol

I had some up days and some down days this week but I was majorly relieved this morning to step on the scale and see this...

Woohoo! 242 even means I am down 2.2 lbs in the last week and 15.8 lbs overall since actively starting over.

With how out of whack my eating was this past week that just means me biking to work every day has totally paid off. I can feel it too though. Like every single day I feel as if I'm improving my speed and my breathing and have noticed a difference in how my calves feel as I'm pedaling, too. I did workout a little bit too but I know it was mostly just a last ditch effort last night. lol. I tried a new workout and also did an old one I hadn't tried in a couple years. I'm trying to make sure my workouts involve some weights and my arms because I know my legs are working it everyday now. lol.

If I can focus more on my eating though I know this weight is just gonna start melting off of me. I feel like I'm at a pretty good place for now though and things are moving at a decent pace. It hasn't quite been a full 2 months yet. We'll see how far I've really come on the 18th when I get to take some more measurements.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Keep lookin up

Cause that's where it all is.

We lost an amazing person this past week with the death of a nationally syndicated radio host who I've been listening to for as long as I can remember. Kidd Kraddick always had a way to make me laugh or cry or both and no matter what was going on in my life on a day that I listened to him, it was a little better for having him a part of it.

Speaking of looking up though... things are finally starting to look up for my family. Not only did I get a job in the last week, but as of today my fiance started a new job! I am so excited for what this means for us. So far he really likes it and it is easy work. He says that he is already familiar with the machines from previous job experiences. He got the job because he was the most qualified applicant and although it's just through a temp agency for now, he has been told that after this job ends in about a month or so, he doesn't just have a possibility, but a high probability that he can get hired on full time with the actual company which is Union Pacific Railroad. My ex works for them and they pay hella good with amazing benefits. Currently, Sparky's wages are just through the temp company so nothing fantastic yet, but not minimum wage either and he is in a position with a lot of authority so this really gets his foot in the door to move on up later. The only problem so far is that since we don't have a car of our own, he has to rely on his friend for a ride. Today his friend was out of town working and so my dad drove me and the kids over to pick him up and make sure he got to his first day of work. He is off until Monday and his friend normally only works weekends so he should be able to find a ride then... but hopefully he won't have to work too many weekend shifts until we can afford to get our own transportation. Combining his and my checks maybe we can find one asap. I sure hope so.

Part of the reason I bring all that up is because I just wanted to mention that my fiance actually noticed a difference in my weight and congratulated me on the hard work I've done while he was away. It had almost been a full 4 weeks since we last seen each other. I still miss him terribly though because we only saw each other for a few minutes this morning and most of it was stuck in a car with my dad and our kids. A brief hug and short kiss were all I really got. :( Maybe with steady income though we can start seeing each other on days off somehow. Again... transportation is an issue, so no telling how long it will be until I see him again. I am so proud of him and thankful that he is sacrificing all this time away from us to go find work at a decent pay rate so we can eventually afford to get out on our own for a change.

I guess you can sorta count that as one NSV... other people noticing my weightloss. Well if you do then I have a 2nd NSV to share as well this week! I spent most of yesterday morning at various thrift shops and goodwill looking for some clothes I can fit right now that don't have holes on them. There isn't much of a dress code at my work, I just have to wear sleeves and tennis shoes basically that's it. lol. So I had a lot of options but still being as big as I am right now there wasn't a lot of things I wanted to buy that were in my size and fit well. I did find a few new things though and so yay for that. This particular NSV, however, is one that I've had listed on my NSV's tab on my blog for a couple years now. I finally was able to find a pair of cute knee-high boots that I could zip up over my gigantic calves and get the zipper to actually go all the way up to the top and stay there. I was so happy I was able to do this that I went ahead and bought the boots even though I don't have much to wear them with currently. I figure by the time I do my legs couldn't have gotten fatter so what's the harm. lol. They were only 6.99 anyways so no biggie.

As for scale victories... I know my latest weigh in days became Saturday mornings... but I was just so curious tonight and was looking for anything to distract me from raiding the fridge that I went ahead and stepped on the scale. To my great relief and a little bit of surprise - I am down 2 whole pounds! I weighed in at 244.2 when I was 246.2 a couple weeks ago. This has me reaching my very first number goal I made for myself this time around. I'm glad things are going in the right direction no matter how slow it seems to be going to me. Kinda makes me think of how Chantell from ABC's Extreme Makeover put it this past week "It's not a sprint - It's a marathon. They have that saying for a reason." Or something close to that... :) I am excited to find out she also has began bloggin and am really looking forward to following the rest of her journey.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Another week down...

So it's been a full week since my last weigh in and I hopped on the scale this morning to check and see where I was at, partly convinced that I was going to see a gain from being so sick last week and dropping 4 lbs in a matter of days. To my surprise and huge relief there was not a gain! I didn't lose any, but I maintained the exact same weight as the week before.

It's also been almost a full week since I started my new job. Things are going great and I actually really like it so far. Though there has already been some drama llama trying to start trouble for me. lol. There is this girl who apparently wanted the job, but I got it instead of her and so she was calling the store often talking trash about me saying that I did drugs and other things she completely made up. I eventually found out how I 'know' the girl. The truth is, I don't! I know her baby daddy (I assume boyfriend still but not certain). lol. I went to high school with him and his sister and I'm still friends with them and they are also both my neighbors. A lot of their extended family all live on various houses on my same street. Well I've seen her out walking around pushing her older kid and their baby with him on occasion maybe just a handful of times. I have never actually spoken to the girl before though. He admitted to me about this time last year that he used to have a crush on me when we were in high school and I'm not really sure where he was going with bringing that up at the time because she was obviously pregnant with  his baby and I was pregnant with Bethany then. I don't know if maybe he mentioned something to his girl about liking me, but I have to assume that is what happened and she got jealous. It's either that or she is just purely insane. lol. Though the owners and managers of the store have all told me how crazy this girl is and that they do not believe her and will not hire her for any reason anyways. They told me to watch my back though in case she tries something some day. They are actually worried she is that kinda crazy. I'm not too worried though. I am very glad they are on my side of this though.

Today has been my first day off since I began and I've been really busy all day long getting things taken care of like shopping for groceries, etc. I've not found any time to work out extra though this past week and so that is another reason why I was worried about the scale results this morning. I have bicycled to and from work every day so far though. Today I need to find something else to do though since I wont be biking there for work. lol. It's apparently a full mile from my house according to google. I thought it was only half. It's already 6pm though so I better get started soon. I have to be at work at 5:45am tomorrow morning to help open the store. I'll be the only cashier there this time and so I've got to do most everything on my own. This is the first time I'll even be there that early, much less on my own. lol. Hopefully it goes well. They said its usually slow on Sunday mornings though so I guess it wont be too hard.

I want to incooperate working out every day back in to my routine so I think I'm going to have to set up a mandatory time for doing it so it gets done. lol. On days when I work mornings it should get done as soon as I get home and then on days when I work nights, as soon as I wake up after eating breakfast.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A job!

Yeah, that's right... I got a job! The first time back to work in over 5 years now. lol. It's nice having a break from the kids for a bit... and my parents, too. I'm enjoying spending time with other adults on a regular basis. Nothing too hard, I'm just cashiering at the gas station right up the road from me. It's less than one mile from my house so the added bonus is that I get to ride my bicycle to and from work everyday. Hooray! lol.

I'm gonna have to be careful with my choices though because I'm allowed to eat one free meal during my shift as long as I'm there more than 2 hours. They have a deli area that serves things like pizza, cheeseburgers, chicken strips, etc. There are not very many health friendly alternatives on the menu either. I think I'm doing alright though and am still using MFP to track things so we'll see how this goes.

Tonight I decided now that it's been a full month of working towards my health and fitness goals again that I should go ahead and share my facebook page with the rest of the world. I've been mostly just updating it for myself this past month. lol. I already went and invited most anyone I recognized on my facebook friend list as someone who added me for fitness support, etc. If you didn't get an invite though and just wanna go to my page and like it then here is the link.

Friday, July 19, 2013

One month later...

Actually yesterday was one full month, but I didn't weigh in then so today is gonna have to do. It's been a month full of highs and lows emotionally and of course that affects things physically for me as well. I wasn't as strict as I would have liked to have been with my calorie counting and exercising. I feel like I did alright though. Last week I came in weighing the same as the previous week but having just dealt with my period among other things I was trying not to let that get to me. This past week, well I didn't even weigh in on Tuesday like I normally do. 

My family decided to go out on the lake with our boat this past weekend and spent a lot of time swimming, etc. Well I was really enjoying that because I knew swimming burnt a ton of calories and it was something I loved to do anyways. My ears kinda felt funny but I didn't really worry about it too much. Sunday I could tell there was something going on still though since my hearing was fading in and out most of the day. Monday morning I woke up and instantly knew I had an ear infection. I made it to the doctor that afternoon and was prescribed some ear drops with antibiotics to treat me for swimmer's ear. Things slowly got worse from there and by Tuesday I was in utter agony all day long. I was in tears more than a few times over how badly I hurt. I had to take my daughter to the dentist that day though and had to ride along with my dad since I don't have a license right now. Well he had promised my sister to take her kids to tutoring in the complete opposite direction of where Bethany's dentist appointment was so we had to go drop them off then go to her dentist appt then drive back to pick them up and take them home. It was a very long morning with several hours spent in a car full of people when all I wanted to do was lay in bed and hug my pillows. My fiance is still staying with a friend looking for work so I didn't really get much peace having to take care of the kids on my own. Wednesday things were slightly better than Tuesday. The pain was still there but not so bad I was crying all day anymore. Yesterday was just an annoyance and today... well I still don't have full hearing back but every so often my ears kinda pop a little bit and I can hear again for a second so I think by tomorrow or the next day I will finally be back to normal. Just waiting for the swelling to go down I think. 

Anyways, with me being completely miserable this week I did not work out much at all. In fact, the only workouts I really got were yesterday and the day before when I went to pick Jett up from VBS. I put him back in to another week of vacation bible school this week. This time it is at another church not too far from here. It's actually 1.6 miles from my house according to the car's odometer. Well, I finally ordered the coupler piece that went missing from my bike trailer so I can attach it to my bike again and it came in last week. Wednesday was the first time in a couple years that I was riding the bike and pulling the trailer behind it again. It felt great but wow so hot and sweaty! I was pulling 18 lbs of Bethany for 1.6 miles on the way to get Jett and then her plus 40 lbs of Jett on the 1.6 miles back home. So I guess I biked a little over 5k both days. I would have gone again today but it was raining. I had intended to go all week but it was raining Monday as well and by Tuesday... I wasn't doing anything I didn't have to that day. Feel awful as I did I ate pretty much whatever I wanted. The bright side of being sick though was that my ear hurt so badly it was affecting my throat and jaw so I couldn't open my mouth to take big bites of anything so I stuck to mostly liquid diet. I was drinking all day long because I felt infinite thirst and dehydrated no matter how much I had. I also ate things like soup or soft foods like avocados so as to not irritate myself any more than I had to. I did not count calories but knowing what I ate, I think I still stayed within a good range on most days, possibly under on a couple though.

Man I get kinda long winded when I don't update for a few days at a time. lol. On to today's topic. It's been one month since I started back for good I feel and I've definitely had more good days than bad. I stepped on the scale this morning and saw this number. 

246.2! I had been stuck at 250.4 for the last couple weeks it seems and so I was not expecting that number and was so relieved when I saw it. My last weigh in here at the house was Tuesday of the previous week, but I did weigh in at the doctor's office on his scale and even saw 250.4 there as well. I was totally bummed when that happened because I was secretly hoping my scale was just messed up. lol. It's been showing me the Lo signal for the last several months now. I need to get a new battery for it soon. 

I am pretty excited about this number. I'm now only 1 lb away from my first goal this time around, haha. I  am down from 257.8 starting weight which makes 11.6 lbs total so far. When I was losing so much back in 2011, I averaged 12 lbs per month so this number pleases me just fine especially because I know I messed up on quite a few days. Next month is going to be better for me because I'm going to do better. I'm seeing improvement in not only my weight on the scale but elsewhere in my life too so I'm using that as motivation to keep trudging forward and to stop quitting when it gets tough. I'll be stricter with my food choices and more diligent in my exercising habits. When I checked in with MFP it also asked me to update my measurements and I noticed that I am already down half an inch in my neck, an inch in my waist and an inch in my hips. Hooray! Here's to starting off Month number 2 with a bang!

I'll leave you with a couple pictures of myself from last night. :)

Getting ready to attend family night at VBS

Fixed up my hair and makeup both for the first time in a long while. lol

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Finally, an NSV for 2013!

So I've been meaning to take a moment to post about my latest NSV for a couple days now but been a little busy with a sick baby girl on my hands since Thursday night. Bethany was super clingy the next morning and so I put her in my ergo to make myself  hands free while still holding the little one.

Poor clingy baby trying to sleep on mama. 
That is when I noticed my first NSV since starting back on my journey this year. I used to have to have the waist strap extended all the way as far as it possibly could go but not on Friday. Now I can cinch in about an inch or two on the waist strap and that is so exciting! lol. I have been wearing strechy pants or shorts non stop since having Bethany and so I havent really noticed any change in clothing sizes. Kinda just been stuck in the 2x/20 range for the last several months. I'm probably still there because as you can see, my hips are freakin ginormous. They were pretty wide to begin with but having another child did them no favors. lol.

Excuse the random stuff in my parent's bathroom mirror. 
I thought I should probably share as much of a full body shot of me as I could get for now so that eventually I can see how far I have come. I actually don't hate my body as much as I thought I did. I can look in the mirror now and see that I do still have a bit of an hourglass shape and that trimming down is only gonna magnify that. Of course when I feel comfortable enough to wear more than just t-shirts out in public will only flatter my look, too. lol.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


Well I hadn't really been keeping up with running the last 2 weeks trying to sort out how to deal without my fiance here to help but I finally got things under control again this week and have restarted C25k on Week 4 where I left off. I did day 1 on Monday and plan to do day 2 this evening as it cools back down some.

Yesterday was weigh in day and there was no change from last week. Not gonna lie, a little bummed especially after all the working out I put in the previous 2 days. However, I am still happy to have not gained after the holiday and so that is still a triumph. Yesterday was also my father's birthday so there was a little cake and ice cream at the end of the day then too. I did workout afterwards though and Have worked out this morning already, too. Hopefully this week I can stay within my calorie goals, log on mfp every day and come out good next Tuesday... then on the 18th it will be one month back on track and so I'm hoping to be down at least 10 lbs in my first month. I know this week is going to be a challenge for me because Aunt Flow came to visit today of course, but I'm just gonna have to try that much harder.

Just gotta keep remembering that what I want in the longrun way outweighs what I could want right now for a fleeting moment.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Pushing it

Well I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend. I'm sure I'm not the only one who indulged a little more than normal at one point or another with friends and family this Independence day. Though a huge kudos offered to those who can say they stayed on track 100%!

I don't think I went all out and completely binged like I would normally per say, but I definitely wasn't limiting my intake of  anything either. The 4th of July is also my fiance's neice's birthday and she was turning 6 this year. There was a huge pool party celebration with all the kinds of food you can imagine. There was cake and cupcakes and icecream and normally if I was binging I would have some of all 3 desserts. lol. This time I just had one piece of cake. It was quite tasty. The top was a lemon cake but I opted for the bottom which was strawberry! Yum!

Dixie dipped in to her my little pony cake a little early apparently. lol

Singing to the birthday girl! My fiance, baby girl, and my boy all at the back center. 

Yes. She loves being held this way. lol

You can see the rest of the lemon top set to the side
as we start digging in to the strawberry bottom. :)

Eating a cucumber and tomato salad in italian dressing.
That is the only way I will eat cucumbers. 

My fiance got back from where he went to go job hunting on Wednesday morning because his friend had ran out of gas before then anyways and by the time he was getting paid again it was holiday time so we figured he could come back home and spend some time with us before he started searching for work again. We went to another celebration on Friday but I managed to eat pretty well that day and did do my Jillian Michaels 30 day shred workout. It was Saturday that I'm not quite sure about since I didn't keep up with MFP logging. My son's paternal grandparents offered to keep both of my kids for the weekend and so I let them. That was the first time I've been away from both of them overnight at the same time since I was stuck in the hospital with a nasty uterine infection that almost killed me right after I gave birth to Bethany. With the kids away, I tried to just relax and enjoy my time with my fiance since I have no clue when I will see him again. He left yesterday afternoon to go stay with our friend again and hopefully is out right now looking for jobs. He said he had a bunch of things he was interested in applying for listed on the Texas Workforce Commission's website and so he was headed there first. I am hoping that he either gets called back from one of the jobs he applied for previously or finds a new job today and gets to start work immediately. I know if that's the case though I wont see him again until after he has made enough money to find us a place to stay and move us out there. Anyways... with it just being me and Sparky, we went to a matinee movie (World War Z) with the little bit of money I had made in my paypal account doing graphic design work on We had to of course have some popcorn and drinks while there. Then we had big burgers for dinner that night.

Yesterday wasn't too much better food-wise but I did finally make time to workout just before bed last night. I did the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout and sweated up a storm. lol. This morning I was feeling good after waking up to feed Bethany around 6:30am and so I ate breakfast and decided to get in an early workout today. I made it halfway through I was really contemplating quitting it and kept trying to talk myself out of finishing by saying the baby was about to wake up again because I could hear her on the monitor fussing for a few seconds every few minutes or so. I thought to myself how I could just come back and do another workout later since I planned to anyways but I didn't quit and I made it the next 20 minutes one step at a time. When cool down time came I was feeling pretty blissful that I didn't quit first thing in the morning and set a bad standard for today.

Here I am catching up on my blogger duties now and about to go log my breakfast. Tomorrow is weigh in day. Oh yeah, I haven't blogged since last Monday so just an update - I lost 5.4 lbs on weigh in day last week! I don't think I'll have near as drastic a number this week, but as long as I'm losing and not gaining I'll be happy. :)

Monday, July 1, 2013

Little eyes are watching me

So I edited my desktop background to change photos every minute and set it up to only show photos from an album with motivational pics. I went ahead and threw in some of my pictures from when i dropped over 100 lbs back in 2011 where i felt my greatest because when I see them I am more amped about getting back to that body. Well as I was putting Jett to bed tonight, he asked me "Hey mama, who's that lady? I wasn't sure what he was talking about so I asked him to explain. He pointed to the computer and said "Her. She kinda looks like you but skinny." lol. I explained that it was me silly and it was 2 years ago when I had lost a lot of weight before I got pregnant with Bethany. I told him that's why I've been exercising so much lately so I can get my body back in shape. I'm a little surprised with my reaction though. Even just a few short weeks ago I would have been devastated and probably binged over hearing that from my child and then felt even worse about being such a horrible example for him. Tonight though, I was just amused and even more excited to continue in my progress and get back to the me I wanna be as soon as possible.

The photo in question.
I was taking full advantage of a free one week trial at
a local gym and sweating it up on their treadmill. 

Yesterday, Jett spent wayyy too much time playing various video games on the wii or his tablet or his leapster or the computer since I was a little preoccupied with an extra fussy baby and so today I sentenced the three of us to some outside time in the sunshine. He kept asking to go back in but I told him he needed the exercise and the sunlight and that he was supposed to play at least 1 hour every day outside and we needed to makeup for the day before. lol. We swang and played in the dirt and checked the mail and cleaned up the yard. Although he was indoors all day yesterday, I did talk him in to doing Level 2 of the 30 day shred with me. He got halfway through it before giving up. lol. It was a pretty good job for a not quite 5 year old though. :)

Friday, June 28, 2013

Turn a setback in to a comeback

So I've been hopping around from page to page on facebook and blogger looking for new inspirations. It seems a lot of my favorite bloggers have stopped writing for one reason or another over the last couple years and I just really want to keep myself surrounded with good healthy motivational reads or at least people I can commiserate with when things aren't going how we want. :)

I found a new blogger today who I'm immediately entrhalled with. She is on facebook at and her blog is at Her posts are quite entertaining so far and she just had a baby last year, too. She is a lot closer to pre-baby weight than I am but I won't hold that against her. lol. Apparently she is some sort of fitness trainer for a living and I aspire to be able to do the same someday. She has a ton of at home workouts listed on one of her blogger pages and I can't wait to see how bad they kick my ass.

As far as things with me go, I am doing rather well. I'm pretty sure this is the first time all year that I have truly gotten back in to counting calories and sticking with it. I am so excited for whats to come now that eating is getting under control and I don't feel this constant need to devour everything in my sight anymore. Exercising was the easy part. I fell in love with that back in 2011. Eating well has always been the struggle but once it becomes habit again I think it'll be so much easier to maintain.

My fiance is still gone looking for work in another town but he said that even though he hasn't heard back from anywhere yet, a lot of jobs sound promising. His friend is taking him to another company today who he thinks will most likely hire him. We're not quite sure if the upcoming holiday is something employers are waiting to pass before they get back in to doing interviews and looking to hire people or not. Sparky has told me that most everything he's applied for so far has a pretty decent pay scale and that when he starts working he should be able to afford to move us all out there soon afterwards. I hope we hear something right away because it'd be nice to move before Jett starts kindergarten and in time for me to know where to plan the kids birthday party. Jett will be 5 on August 14th and Bethany turns 1 on the 28th. She is exactly 10 months old today!

I thought by 10 months I could have easily been back down to pre-pregnancy weight or at least somewhere near it. lol. Oh well. Better late than never!

While searching through pages on facebook this morning, I saw someone post this saying that really rings true for me right now with all that has been going on over the last year or so. Turn a setback in to a comeback. I like that. To me it says that no matter what happens, stop listing all the reasons why you can't do it. Start finding all the reasons you can and should. It will make it all soo much easier when your mind is in the right place.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Working it this Wednesday...

Yup. :)

My daughter woke up at 6am to eat and so I decided to just stay up and get my workout in before she was really awake and active and while my son was still resting, too. My fiance left a couple days ago to stay with a friend of ours who lives in a bigger city to look for work there since nothing has been panning out here and we are getting pretty desperate to move out of my parents place. With him gone, I was finding it hard to make time to workout at all yesterday even though I wanted to, so I just didn't. I did however stay within my calorie range goals and am happy with that much. Today though I wanted to really step up my game.

I ate Kashi Go Lean Crisp Cinnamon Crumble cereal for breakfast and then did the first 2 of the 10 Minute Solutions: Carb Burner. I wanted to get on the treadmill but could not find the key for it. I'll have to ask my mom where she hid it (from the kids) when she wakes up before heading to work tonight. I wasn't really feelin the whole workout dvd thing though so after that I decided I still needed to do some sort of strength training with my hand weights and did about 18 minutes of random moves I remembered from various exercises I had seen on dvds, pinterest, or in magazines. Got plenty of bicep, tricep, shoulder, chest, and back moves in the routine. I definitely worked up a sweat as well. I had most of a banana after that. Part of it was starting to bruise though, so I chunked the rest.

I needed to do some grocery shopping to get formula for the baby and more spinach for myself as well as a few other random things so I headed out shortly after that. When I got home and put everything away I decided it was time for some Wii fit since I haven't tried that in forever and really just needed something fun to do instead. I spent an hour playing games on there doing yoga, strength training, cardio, and balance. I think it said I had burned roughly 215 calories from those things.

At some point I had a spinach salad that I ate most of but definitely not all. The leaves were starting to wilt a little I think and didn't taste as good as normal. Glad I picked up more at the store today. That was the last of that package anyways. For lunch I had a turkey and fat free cheese sandwich with mustard on whole wheat bread and a pickle spear. I had one zero calorie energy drink today but other than that I've only drank water with everything. I wasn't intending on having the Monster energy drink but my mom just got a new flavor that recently came out and I hadn't tried it yet. Her can smelled just like blue raspberry though and so I had to try one for myself. It did smell like blue raspberry, but the taste actually reminded me of Sprite berry remix. You remember those? lol. I think they were around when I was in like middle school. It was pretty good either way. I wont make a habit of it though.

It's only 3:30pm now but I feel pretty accomplished with my day so far. I do still want to get on the treadmill later or see if I can get the kids in a good enough mood to sit together in the bike trailer/jogging stroller when it cools down just before sunset. If nothing else I will try the elliptical. It's not easy finding time without my partner here to help and 2 kids this time around but I'm not gonna let that stop me. I'm tired of being full of excuses. I am better than that.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Making myself proud.

Well today started out kinda rocky since I let last night go to waste pretty much. Yesterday started out so well though. I walked my son up to his last day of VBS and before I hit the end of my street, a random neighbor stopped me to tell me how proud she was of me. She said she had noticed me out walking every morning this week. That made me feel great and I was in a wonderful mind set for most of the day. On my way home from dropping Jett off, I noticed another one of my neighbors/an old friend from high school was walking her daughter up to VBS, too. She had driven up there every other day this week so I can't but think maybe my actions just rubbed off on her. :)

While Jett was gone to VBS, I decided to clean up the living room and kitchen. I vacuumed everywhere and got everything cleared up before Bethany even woke up. When she did, I handed her off to my mom and dad just long enough to do my next day of 30 day shred. Soon after that it was time to go pick up Jett.

After we got home, my mother decided we should all go out to Hurricane Harbor since we have season passes and ride the brand new rides they just opened today. Yesterday they were only open to season pass holders. We had a blast and baby girl floated down the lazy river most of the day with whoever wasn't off riding rides at the time. It was when it came time to leave that things deteriorated quickly.

My mom decided to take us all out to Golden Corral and I had just been talking to Sparky about how I had been craving their food and he had, too. We both totally caved as soon as we got inside and ate wayyy too much food. It was soo delicious though and I hardly ever get to eat steaks anymore so I really enjoyed it and can't say I totally regret it. I am kinda glad it happened early on during this first week so I can get all that out of my system. I've got to keep thinking positive. At least I was good and ordered water instead of soda.

This morning I wasn't feeling so great because of all the eating that happened last night and so I was lazing about eating popcorn and watching movies. I don't think I've had too much to eat today already, but I'm about to enter it in to myfitnesspal and see where I'm at. Around an hour and a half ago I decided it was time to get out of this funk and do a new workout. I picked out one I hadn't tried at all yet and it kicked my butt in to gear just like I needed. It was 10 Minute Solutions: Carb Burner. 50 minutes of pure awesome. I was able to do almost all of it but it was still very challenging all the way through. I am feeling pretty great right about now.

I still need to do another C25K run today for week 4 and see if I can also find time to do the next day of 30 day shred. It's only 5pm though so I should be able to just fine.

 It's wonderful that I'm making complete strangers proud of me, but I really need to work on making myself proud of me if I'm ever gonna truly change for the better.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Going strong

Well I never managed to make it around to that extra workout yesterday but after this morning, I'm kinda glad I didn't. I don't wanna overdo it and mess myself up too bad. lol. I am all kinds of sore today! I had wondered most of the morning what exactly it was the hurt so bad or if it was just the combination of crunches and weights and running, etc. that had me all banged up. Then I get around to doing Day 2 of the 30 day shred and realize exactly what it was. My flab! During all those jumping jacks it kept smacking up and down around my ribs and that's exaclty where I was sore. lol. That and in my legs a bit but I knew that was form the squat parts. haha. Oh well, no pain - no gain! To an extent anyways...

So far today my eating has been better than yesterday. I still think it needs vast improvement but its a step in the right direction. I've decided I'm going to give My fitness pal a try once more instead of fatsecret. Fatsecret didn't have an app compatible with my phone but myfitnesspal does. Anyone looking for me on there, I think I have 2 accounts by mistake but the one I am using is jen112685. I updated it with todays eats and exercises so far. I feel like I still need to do something else today but I haven't quite made up my mind about what yet.

The stress in my life continues to rise but I'm kinda throwing myself in to this getting healthy again thing to try and be more focussed on bettering the things in my life I can control and not worrying too much about the ones I cannot. Here's hoping that I'll actually believe that soon.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Starting over and over and over...

Yeah I know... this is only the 87th time I've tried to start over this year. lol. Or something like that. But I'm never going to give up for good! I have let myself down a lot in the past several months and I know that all of the legitimate excuses in the world wont change any of that so no need to list them all!

So.... Here I go again on my own. Goin' down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.... wait a minute... Sorry getting distracted.

Well I have been trying all day today to get back in to the swing of things. I walked Jett to VBS this morning and then came home and had a healthy breakfast of eggwhites with cayenne pepper and turkey bacon. After doing all the dishes in the kitchen, I did 10 minutes of a new exercise dvd I hadn't tried yet. It was a 10 minute video that has like 5 different 10 minute workouts and I decided it was a little more advanced than I am right now so I'll put off trying it again for awhile. I then proceeded to start the 30 day shred again. Not long after that it was time to get Jett but as I headed out the door to go get him it started to sprinkle on me so I had to take the car again. This afternoon I went for a bike ride with my fiance for the first time. It had been a long while since I had ridden by myself either though. He really enjoyed it, especially after realizing how messed up his feet are and that he can't run anymore until seeing a doctor. Just finished up dinner and had a little more than I intended. Lunch was avocado, black bean, and tomato on two wheat tortillas but Dinner was pasta. I tried a new garden vegetable pasta made from spinach, tomato, and carrots. It was good but I know I ate too much. Oh well. After letting that digest I filled up my water bottle and then headed outside for Week 4, Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program. I restarted C25k from the beginning a few weeks ago and have really been enjoying learning to love running again. The last time I did it was September and so the weather just kept getting cooler as my runs got harder. This time starting in the beginning of summer things only keep getting hotter! I've decided to only run at night though right about an hour before it gets dark outside so that its cool enough I don't completely die. I still manage to come home dripping sweat each time though. :) Later tonight before bed I'm going to do one more exercise dvd. I'm thinking Crunch: Ab Attack most likely.

I know my eating habits are the worst right now and thats what I've really got to put in check. I'm going to try to keep a food diary again and count calories once again. I know I said that on my last post a couple months ago but that went out the window fast. Its the only thing that's ever really worked for me though and so I have to attempt it again. I will not give up on myself!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Fully Committed

It's been one week since my last weigh in and so I stepped on the scale this morning hoping for any glimmer of change. I had been far more active in this past week than many others before it and so I figured this could cause at least a little bit of a dent. Well I had given in to late night cravings still no matter how many days i started off well, they ended rather poorly. Today's reading popped up and I was a little bit shocked. It said I had lost 1.8 lbs. I know that isn't much but it was something so I was proud. I stepped on and off the scale to double check the reading. When I was sure it was correct I went to snap a photo for my blog here and that's when it changed. This time I had bumped it with my foot in to a different spot on the floor and it read completed different. I believe there is a soft spot on the floor in the bathroom and I must have been on it at first or something. When I moved the scale and got my new reading it said I had gained 0.6 lbs since last week which does seem a bit more accurate although disheartening. I moved the scale about 10 more times all around the bathroom rechecking my reading and it was the same over and over so I'm gonna have to assume that is my real reading. I didn't read it more than once last week so I can't be positive it was correct then, but it seems likely enough to me so I'll just assume it was.

All that being said, I knew not to expect big changes on the scale because I hadn't made big changes in my eating. I was eating better and less in the mornings and afternoons but evenings I kept crashing down around myself. I know better. I should eat a decent breakfast, lunch, and dinner with a few snacks throughout the day. I obviously have issues with controlling myself on portion sizes so it's time to go back to calorie counting and being 100% full committed to it. That is when I really lost so much was when I wrote down every single thing and counted it all up every day. So far I had only been counting in the mornings and afternoons and then stopped counting after dinner. That has to end now if I ever want to change and I do so very much want to change. I was so much happier with everything in my life when I was healthier. I am no where near that self confident and assured that I'm a good enough person for anyone or anything really anymore. Yet again, I know better, but it takes me longer to really let that sink in while I can't even control myself.

This has to be my new mantra:

That is step 1 anyways. I am hoping that once I get eating better down again that most of the other things in my way will be easier to fall in to place.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Junk food confessions

Oh Jenna Marbles.... you never fail to amuse me. I can totally relate to one of her more recent videos though and thought many of you may as well.

The line that really stuck with me most was where she said she had nothing to eat so she just grabbed a bag of croutons and ate those. Oh god... I've done that too many times in my life. Not necessarily croutons, but a random food that wasn't meant to be eaten as a meal. Sometimes I'll even just eat condiments. Wtf?! lol.

Well it's got to stop! Time to get my workout on for today but first I'm going to make my self a nice healthy and filling breakfast.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Not giving up...

I realize that I didn't post in over a month, now. I just wasn't feeling March much at all. There were some things I did better like I started parking further away and walking more while out and about. Mostly though I slipped on my eating and thats where things went downhill. Yesterday I finally got my shit together and decided enough was enough and after going through all my old clothes this weekend and seeing all the things I used to be able to wear but only for about a month or so before I found myself pregnant with Bethany, lol. It's nice to have something to aspire to. I think maybe I should hang up some of my favorite pieces around the house a bit so I can always see them and know what I'm working towards. It's a nice idea to tell myself that I wanna be healthier but ya know... I wanna feel good too and I will feel good if I look good so that's something a little more concrete for me to visualize.

My fiance has been trying to get back in shape as well. He's currently at 154 but was 128 when we first got together so I think that's where he's aiming to be. You couldn't tell by looking at him that he needs to lose anything though, he seems all bones to me. lol. I suppose the only thing different with him than before is that he used to have defined abs, now not so much but it's not like he has a huge gut in its place though either.

I was looking at my old posts from 2011 and can see that as of today, I am just 7 lbs higher than I was on April 8th, 2 years ago. If I can manage to kick myself in to high gear like I did back then I can reach my goals by a similar time as I did then. I recall finally feeling comfortable and really fantastic about where I was just about September. However I also started my plateau right about that time of year so I'm going to have to watch myself and look out for slipping back in to those habits again because I was still a good 20 lbs from my goal weight of being at the very top of a normal BMI. My recommended weight was even 20 more lbs past that but I'm not sure I'll 100% trust BMI calculators to tell me how much I should weigh so I'm not too worried about that yet.

Anyways... here's to April. Spring is here and the sun is finally showing its face more often. I was able to walk around outside in shorts yesterday and still be hot, so yay warmer weather!

April 7th 2013 (I weighed in yesterday when I started over)

Weight: 244.4 lbs (+9.2 lbs since last month)

  • Bust: 47 inches (-1.5 in)
  • Waist: 47 inches (+1 in)
  • Hips: 54 inches (+.5 in)
  • Thighs: 29.5 inches (+.5 in)
  • Calves: 18 inches (0 in)
  • Neck: 14.5 inches (+.5 in)
  • Arms: 16 inches (+1 in)
BMI: 40.7 (+)

Friday, March 1, 2013

Marching on along...

March 1st 2013

Weight: 235.2 lbs (-5.4 lbs since last month)

  • Bust: 45.5 inches (-1 in)
  • Waist: 46 inches (2 in)
  • Hips: 53.5 inches (-1 in)
  • Thighs: 29 inches (-1.5 in)
  • Calves: 18 inches (-0.5 in)
  • Neck: 14 inches (-.5 in)
  • Arms: 15 inches (0 in)

BMI: 39.1 (-0.9)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

New foods update!

Alright I finally have a chance to share some of the new foods I have been trying. A lot of these ideas have been coming from pinterest. Yes I have succumbed to the addiction that is pinning anything and everything. lol.

Before I get in to the food though I want to go ahead and share my weigh in for Fit Tuesday....

I'm shocked. It's exactly the same as 2 weeks ago. However last week I had gained 2.4 lbs so I'm pleased that I lost it now. I didn't eat as well as I wanted or work out as much as I would have liked but the workouts that I did do were pretty intense and I started incorporating using weights back in to my routines again so I'm gonna have to assume that is what helped me shed the pounds. I'm taking this as a positive and moving on to this coming week with my game face on. A couple more days and it'll be time for a monthly update with measurements, etc. Maybe I can drop a little bit more before then! :) Already worked out this morning but if I find the time I'm gonna try to squeeze another routine in later. I'm a little calorie heavy this morning but I'm about to look up ideas for the salmon I have so I can have a super light dinner tonight.

Anyways... I'm running short on time but here are just a few of the foods I've been trying lately. :) I wont say too much about each one since I'm in a hurry but feel free to comment asking questions if you are interesting in knowing how I prepared something.

baked Sweet Potato fries sprinkled with paprika. 363 calories
crockpot shredded honey mustard chicken
crockpot shredded honey mustard chicken over rice with a side of asparagus

Rotisserie chicken made in the crock pot with rice and corn.

Healthy Choice Steamers - Honey Balsamic Chicken with tomatoes and asparagus. 210 Calories

Tuna salad dip and baked crackers. 275 Calories

Shake and bake chicken with roasted asparagus.
leftover shake and bake chicken sliced up with avocado and tomato.
crockpot honey apple pork loin
crockpot honey apple pork loin
crockpot honey apple pork loin, sliced new potatoes, cut green beans. 

Buffalo chicken wings. This is a picture before I actually cooked it. A recipe I found on pinterest...
This is my new favorite snack thanks to pinterest. lol. I just modified and went with some laughing cow cheese instead. This whole plate is 80 calories.

Monday, February 25, 2013

What happened February?

So yeah it's obviously been a super busy month for me. I'm gonna try to sum things up so I don't just ramble on and on, so bear with me. lol.

- Aunt flow was in town the week after the last time I weighed in here. She had me eating more sweets than I ought to and so my weight reflected that. I did not gain but I  maintained exactly.

- The following week was when valentines day fell and I did not realize how much candy comes in your house when you have a child that is in school now. We still have a huge bag full of candy sitting around and I'm trying to offer it to people left and right because the longer it stays here the more I crave it. His valentines day party at school was also chock full of sweets and so I definitely indulged there. I ended up gaining 2.4 lbs by my next weigh in day. Along with the valentines party we also had a home meeting with his teachers and a few other doctor and dentist appointments so I had very little free time during the week to workout every day like I wanted. I did however find out that my local wic office is participating in a weight loss challenge and along with that they are offering free fitness classes! I joined the challenge and also have been attending all the classes. They are Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 4:45pm and I can bring my kids. I usually just bring Jett because he loves the interaction with the other children. Currently the class we are doing is Zumba. It's just a dvd workout so the same thing each time but its still fun and my first try with zumba. The more I go the more I get the moves down. Soon we will be moving on to Yoga, Walking with Resistance, and Line Dancing classes.

- This past week I have been super extra busy since Jett has now began his first soccer practices. They run from 5:30-6:30pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My fiance found a job and started on Monday so I have been home alone with Bethany all day and found it rather hard to cope with. I've been taking care of everything else at home and haven't had time for myself. This had me feeling depressed and beginning to binge again. Wic fitness class stopped this week because they are in the process of moving to a new office. My son got silver crowns put in his teeth this week and so I spent pretty much all day Wednesday taking care of him and Bethany both since he was heavily sedated and not allowed to return to school until the next day.

-I sat down and had a talk with my fiance on Friday about all the stress I've been dealing with on what should be a good week for us and he helped me come up with some solutions to better manage my time at home. We got the baby her very own crib on Saturday and soon will be getting a monitor so that she can sleep peacefully in her warm room while I'm jumping around working out, etc in the other room far away from her. I've been looking up all sorts of new crockpot recipes to help me make dinner time easier, especially on days when I have the Wic fitness classes since they fall about the same time I'm supposed to have dinner ready for when my mom wakes up to get ready to go to work.

- I know I said that I was going to have plenty of time to update last Wednesday but as I mentioned that was the day Jett was at the dentist. I was unaware it was going to be an all day event and I assumed with him being home from school I wouldnt have to waste all that time driving around to pick him up or drop him off, etc. and wic classes had stopped. I suppose I underestimated how long things would take though. Oh well. Here it is Monday and things are finally feeling somewhat okay again. It's already the end of February though and I feel like I've barely accomplished anything this month. I'm going to try to put the bad behind me and just look forward to what is in store though. Now that my fiance has a job we can finally start saving up some money to get out of my parents house. Hopefully soon we will have our tax money back and can get our own vehicle once more. I have really been hoping to have my old/new body back by the time my little girl turns 1 year old and honestly it is still very possible, but even if it takes longer than that I need to realize that a step closer towards my goals is still something to be proud of no matter how small it is.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm going to cross my fingers that I'm going back down instead of up although I havent had a good week of eating or working out so I know whatever the number is - its deserved. It's almost time for me to leave to get my son from school so I'm gonna get off of here for now but tomorrow I'm going to find the time to share all the new foods I've been trying theses past few weeks. :)