Pushing forward

So yesterday was my first day back to work and as expected there was the obstacle of not finding time to get a workout done. However, I did manage to exercise while at work. I looked silly lunging around the playground and punching the air in the gym as my kids kept asking me what the heck I was doing, but I feel good about doing more than just standing around. By the end of the day I was worn out already and decided against turning something on to do. I kept up with calorie counting throughout the day and managed to stay close to goal so overall I think that was a success.

Most people will tell you not to weigh yourself every day and obsess over the numbers on the scale. I have always been a daily weigh checker though. To me I find it good info on how my body reacts to different things and I know it will fluctuate up sometimes even in the best of circumstances. This morning I woke up to see that I was 3 lbs down in the last 3 days which leaves me only 1 lb shy from my very first goal of getting under the 290 mark and hitting 289. For the last year now I have not cared a lot about my health and fitness in the sense that I would actively be doing anything but every now and then I would weigh myself just to see if I was climbing up any higher or not. Just about every time I checked myself I was in the 290-300 range. I'm thankful I never got any higher but seemed to just kinda be stuck there so that is why my first goal is to hit the 280s.

Today has been one of the most frustrating days I have had in a long time. I work for a daycare and have been teaching school aged children for over 3 years now. A short time ago I was told they wanted me to take over the Pre-K program at my center and that I would be the prek and schoolers teacher both from January til graduation in June and then I would go back to having my schoolers and doing field trips with them, etc. until August where I would then most likely just be doing Pre-k. Well, if it were just regular pre-k with 4 and 5 year olds it wouldn't be so terrible. However our ratios require them to move kids around and I end up with a class half full of 3 year olds and am finding it impossible to teach any of the curriculum I am supposed to be doing. I know it's only been one day, but its been the first day and so I am thoroughly mentally and physically exhausted. I have just about broke down in tears 3 times today. I am not sure I can do this and I may end up losing my job over this which would be terrible since my husband is currently out of work and I am the only one bringing an income for our family. Now when I first started teaching schoolers I said the same thing about wanting to quit and cry and scream everyday for the first several weeks. Eventually though I got the hang of things and absolutely loved my class. Now that I love my class though they want to move me and I'm just not sure  I can do this. I am going to try of course.. but this is so not the ideal time for me to be having a huge stressful change in my regular stressful job of working in childcare.

Luckily I have not let it get to my eating habits though. I am still counting my calories on day 4 now and am on track as far as that goes. I have not worked out today but I did try to do some more exercise in the gym when I could. I may force myself to do a short workout video before bed tonight. We shall see. I won't be too hard on myself if I don't though because I know the food is what's really helping me lose the most right from the start anyways.

On my lunch break today, 2 coworkers were leaving at the same time as me and going to eat chips and salsa at a local Mexican place. They invited me along but I told them I was trying to save money and also eat better. They said they were too but just weren't going to tell anyone they ate chips and salsa. lol. I have seen them post everyday on Facebook for the last several weeks now about going to the gym together and trying to workout more etc. but here they are eating chips and salsa and trying to sabotage me along the way... I mean I am sure it was unintentional. I just can't let things like that slow me down. I contemplated it for about 10 seconds before I said no thanks and was really pleased with myself for doing so. When I got back they again said how I should have joined them because it was so good, but I am glad that I stuck to my plans instead. I love Mexican food and would have loved to go because my husband does not like it and so we hardly ever eat at those types of places. I still have not had any soda since Friday and have been drinking tons of water each day. I feel good about those choices and am just working to keep pushing forward.