Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Last night's sugar meltdown

So I have been fairly good to myself most of my journey when I'm eating at home and not having too many problems with wanting the bad things because i will either have a little bit to satisfy the craving and then go fill up on veggies or fruits or something or I will be able to substitute what i want for something similar. This has worked great and I'm sure it still will but last night I cracked.

Been under a lot of stress this past week, which is no excuse for poor eating, in fact its just the opposite. It should mean that I should eat my best to keep my mind healthy and happy. But yesterday evening I broke down and binged on all the leftover candy from the party bags for my son's birthday party. Luckily there wasn't a huge bag full of it left because my stick of a brother with a metabolism faster than the speed of light ate most of it before leaving here on Sunday. lol. However, I'm sitting here now face to face with the candy wrappers and evidence of last night's total breakdown.

In 7 months I haven't hardly craved any candy. It's not even looked appealing to me. I will have a chocolate here and there. Usually the weight watchers chocolates or the skinny cow ones, but hard candy hasn't looked the least bit delicious. Then I made this spectacular Treasure Chest cake for my son's Pirate themed 3rd birthday...

I managed not to devour everything in sight that day somehow.. lol. but 2 days later the leftover gobstoppers and tootsie roll pops and tootsie rolls were calling my name! I ate the entire rest of the box of gobstoppers and I had 3 suckers and like 5 tootsie rolls and a (surprisingly sugarfree) ring pop. I felt like a huge cow but I knew if I left any gobstoppers in the box i would want them today or whatever and I just didnt want to ruin tomorrow before it even got here. lol. Lame reason again, but here it is tomorrow and I'm eating well and doing fine. I don't have the desire to eat any candy now but I also don't have the temptation. :)

Anyways... I knew last night as I was eating all the candy that I wanted to come clean with myself and my blogger friends and share how awful I was to myself. We can't be perfect always and this isn't just a diet to me. This is my new lifestyle! So whenever I have a bad day I'm going to share it just as much as whenever I have a good day. It's realistic to see there are both sides to the coin of struggling to get to a healthier me.

In other, much better, news!.. today is Weigh in Wednesday and I am down 3 lbs this week. I was stuck at 193 all weekend and then came down to 191 on yesterday and down another pound to 190 today! haha. I think maybe my body was craving a change in the foods I had been eating or something so maybe the cake and hot dogs at the birthday party and whatnot weren't all so bad.

And just for fun here is a picture of me from Jett's 2nd birthday party....

I had no neck. My fat head sat on my blob of shoulders. lol

I was round everywhere and none of my clothes really fit with any shapeliness. :(

And this was at this year's party. I actually have a collar bone showing through in this picture. There is a neck and veins. Whoa! lol

Oh snap... I've still got a nice round booty, too. :P

My boobs may be shrinking, but at least so is my waistline!

And this is my bestie Ashley who helped me throw everything together. <3 She's like 120 on a fat day so I know I'll probably never be her size, but I'm gonna get damn close enough to at least share a few cute clothes!! haha

and one of the birthday boy because he's too cute not to share! :)


  1. I found you through Slim Katie. (Love that girl!) So impressed with the change in your from your son's party a year ago, and by the way--that was SOME cake you made for him. Impressive! I used to LOVE gobstoppers. So hard and delicious! I could go through a box in short order. But I haven't had one in a long time. I also liked Hot Tamales. I stopped and looked at a box of them once recently when I was at the drugstore, and seems like the box came in at over 400 calories. I thought--maybe as a treat? But when I saw 400 calories, and knew I wouldn't be able to stop at just a few hot tamales, I didn't buy them after all.
    You are looking HOT girl, even next to your skinny friend. And that little guy of yours??? Simply adorable!!!
    Congrats on hitting ONE-derland. I have found it's a ONE-derful place to be after losing 180 lbs, and maintaining for the last 4 months (and counting)!

  2. Great pictures tell a story of success !!

  3. Thank you dupster!! I agree SlimKatie rocks my socks! lol. Gobstoppers used to be one of my favorite candies. Only outranked by Reese's and Peanut Butter M&Ms. lol. So I hadn't even bought any since my journey began because I didn't want the temptation but the youtube video I got the idea for the cake from called for tiny jawbreakers so i had to get them! lol. A lot of times throughout the last several months though when I've stopped to take the time to actually read the ingredients in certain foods I used to love I get so grossed out I don't even want to buy them anymore, much less eat them.

    Thanks also for mentioning how wonderful Onederland is! I am still processing in my mind how I am not over 200 lbs anymore and I can't even fathom it really. I still feel like I am that girl but get pleasantly surprised everytime I look in the mirror. I was just telling Ashley the other day how I felt so vain now because I used to hate every picture taken of me and now I love every picture taken of me!!! hahaha

    Congratulations to you for hitting a loss of 180 lbs. That is freaking phenomenal!!! Maintaining I hear is the hardest part so congrats on what you've accomplished so far and good luck on being able to keep it up!!! Thanks for commenting hon! :)

    and Thank you as well So Fat 4 Now! :D

  4. Wow, that is amazing progress. How 'onderful' it is that you can set a healthy example for your children and live a full, vibrant life taking care of them. Kudos to you!

  5. Thanks April!! I recall being about like 10 years old and seeing old pictures of my mom when she was skinny and thinking omg mom, what happened to you? I don't ever remember you being that tiny! I kinda hope someday when my kid see's old pictures of me he will be like omg mom when were you ever a fat girl?! lol. Silly I know but still... haha. My mom has actually jumped on the band wagon and lost quite a bit of weight herself now too. I skyrocketed past her weight years ago and so she's been smaller than me for quite some time and still is. I think she's in the 170's though now and so I'm working really hard to close that gap! :D

    That is the biggest benefit of me losing all this weight in the long run I believe though is that I will be teaching my son how to eat healthy from such a young age and to keep active daily!

  6. You look great! Found you thru Alan's blog!

  7. Woo Hoo....isn't it great to see progress in pics!!!!......
    your working hard girl and it shows......way to go!!!!

  8. Im telling you, I think it was the moon or something yesterday, because I did nearly the same thing...I was hungry all day, and ended up eating a garbage list of crap Im ashamed all I can think of is...UGGGGGHHH WWWWHHHHYYY DID I DO THAT!!! But...that was yesterday and today is today...and everything is back on I look forward to being back on my healthy lifestyle and meeting my goal come december. Its craptacular to slip up, but returning to doing what we should and not letting it get in the way is the lesson. God job girl, you look friggen Fabulous! -Christina

  9. Thanks Bonnie and Christina. The moon was being all crazy last night wasn't it?! lol. I looked up on my drive home from walking with a friend and noticed it was bright orange!! Creepy but beautiful at the same time.