If you've ever seen the movie Madagascar you just might know how I feel right now. When Alex the lion was getting so starving he started seeing steaks every where he looked and they did the American Beauty dream scene. But with steaks instead of roses. lol... Yeah. That is totally me today. I envision a big fat juicy cheeseburger and also fries covered in cheese and bacon and sour cream. Oh yeah buddy. Just typing about it is making me salivate. I am being good so far today though. I knew this day would come and I knew it would be soon, in fact, I thought it would have been sooner. I am glad it didn't come sooner though because with each new day that comes I feel that much closer to my goal and that much stronger in my willpower to stay away from the things I shouldn't have. I know that someday I will be able to eat those things again. I am not giving up my favorite foods for life. I just know that right now my mind is still weak enough that if I gave in and started having them now I would indulge too much. Someday when I am much stronger I will allow myself to have these things in moderation and most likely only for a special occasion.
So after that last sentence I just finished I heard Jett wake up and I went to see what he needed. Upon going into the living room I see that my dad has just finished making a whole ton of deviled eggs. I couldn't stop myself... and I just ate one! It happened in all of about 0.08 seconds. I saw them and instantly like breathed one in. lmfao. That's the only one though and I'm still under my calories for today so far.. I just gotta go look up how many calories that was now.