Just a couple more days...

I'm so ready for the new year to get here. January feels so fresh to me for some unknown reason. Possibly because it's when I first started my journey in 2011. It was Jan 15th to be exact. I won't wait til then though. I do have another hurdle to jump though. On January 3rd we are doing a late Christmas with my aunt's family and she has asked us all to meet her a Pizza hut for lunch that day. Christmas at Pizza hut? There's a first time for everything I suppose. I'll try my best to eat light the rest of the day and control myself while I'm there. It's been years since I've actually been to one of those. I was never a fan of their pizza just because it was always so greasy. The best thing they ever did though was the stuffed crusts. Those things are irresistible. I think since it's an early on indulgence in my new journey though that it won't be so entirely devastating.

Anyways... as far as my family's stressful troubles. We finally seem to have gotten everything in order and things are taking off very quickly. If things continue to go this well for us then we should be able to get our own place sometime in the next couple months. We had to sell my car to be able to afford taking this new risk but we've already earned back every cent we spent on it so things are looking great. First, we'll buy me a new car and then we will get our own place shortly after that. I am so ready to be out of my parents house. There are about 10 people here everyday because my sister's kids are here about 4 or more days each week while she's at work. Well one person got sick the week before Christmas and now every single one of us have been sick. Including my 4 yr old son and my 4 month old baby girl. Few people are still fighting off the sickness as of today. It's frustrating. The thing I'm most looking forward to though is that whatever food is in our house is food that we have bought just for us. No one else can be eating my healthier things and no one else can leave other tempting trigger foods around that are begging me to eat them. lol.

Stress and struggles

So here it is over a month since my last post as I shamefully crawl back to the blogosphere. Things have been tough for my family as of late and when it seems like we need just one more thing to get back on top we find out after doing that one thing that now there's just one more thing standing in the way, and this has been going on, over and over again for a few months now. Somethings gotta give! That being said, I've been stressed to the max and as most of us know by now eating has been one of my stress relievers over all these years. Otherwise,  how else did I get this way? lol. I should know better by now though. I need to find other ways to relieve my stress. When I'm feeling sad or upset or "boredom hungry" I need to pick up something other than food. Some dumb bells would be a good idea but I'm having a hard time convincing myself to workout for some reason. I do have another idea I'm willing to try for now though. I've been really wanting to learn how to crochet and now I finally have all the materials since a friend gave me all her old hooks and a bunch of different rolls of yarn. I'm gonna get on a youtube and figure that out. I seen another friend learn how to crochet form youtube a couple months ago and she's already posting elaborate pictures of her badass creations every few days or so. I'm like damn... I could be that good already if I took the time to do it now that I have the supplies. My goal is to focus on fixing my eating habits for now while things in our life are still really hectic, and then hopefully soon i'll be up to working out again. I'm tired of wishing and I want to start doing. I think after the new year gets here I'll be in a better frame of mind or at least I sure hope so.

Run for your lives!!!

So as I was perusing my blog roll, I came across the lovely Sarah at Fat So Sarah who mentioned something in one of her recent posts that piqued my interest.

 www.runforyourlives.com Check it out! I found something I wanna do to challenge myself. I'm making it my goal to get back in shape well enough to enjoy doing this come March! Basically it's a combination of a 5k run, an obstacle course, zombie apocolypse, and flag football. Sounds like full on WINNING to me! I'm planning on being both a zombie and a runner. After next week it'll be cheaper to register to do that anyways and I'll get the added perks of both deals. :D

I'm hoping my friend and fellow blogger Ziona over at I want to Look Like a pinup! will join me since she's not too far away from the one near me in March. Also, hopefully some of the rest of you can find ones in your areas and get involved! You can run, be a zombie, run and be a zombie, or just volunteer. In any case it sounds like a whole ton of fun!

I was so pumped up when I found out about this I decided to get my workout on at my scheduled time and push myself a little harder today. I did the Biggest Loser Last Chance Workout routine today and man was that intense. I felt so good afterwards though and am excited to finally be getting back in to the things I've come to love. :)

Organizing my time

So I've decided that every weekday at 11am I'm making time for exercise. My fiance has agreed to watch the baby during this time and Jett will of course be in school so I will have that time just for me. I hate getting interrupted during exercising. It totally throws me off and actually kinda angers me so I think having a scheduled time now will be quite helpful. I decided on 11am so whenever I am finished I can just have a protein shake for my lunch and go ahead and start rebuilding all those muscles I just broke down. I need to cut back on my eating significantly though if I'm truly focused on losing all this extra weight. I've been yoyo-ing like crazy with everything that's been going on here lately. It's extra rough still living with my parents right now in the midst of all this and I know it would be so much easier to do things on my own terms once we move in to our own place but as of right now we are both unemployed again and so there is no telling when we are going to be able to move out. I need to just do it now. Why put off for tomorrow what can be done today? If I keep thinking like that then I'll never be healthy. 

Last Friday I had a great workout session. I did a Crunch series Ab workout immediately followed by a Jillian Michaels routine and man did I ever sweat! It felt great but at the same time it kicked my ass. I'm at least 50 lbs heavier than the last time I tried some of those moves. I've got a lot more flab in the stomach region than I did back then and so not only were some things just plain exhausting, they were also actually impossible to do correctly. I did my best though and pushed it as hard as I could. I know in time I'll get back to being able to do things correctly if I just keep trying. Now that I've got a schedule set I don't think exercising will be a problem. My biggest concern is wondering how I'm going to control my cravings, especially at this time of year. I'm going over all the things I've done in the past and still continuing to research new ideas online so that I can get this under control. My fiance actually got a free trial of something called Raspberry Keytones a little while back and I finally got around to looking in to them last week. They are a supplement that is supposively helpful in controlling your appetite and losing weight but of course will only be helpful if you are already actively trying to lose weight by eating well and exercising. So no telling if they actually work or not really. lol. They didnt seem to have any negative side affects though and I had them anyways so I decided to take them. I've been having 2 a day for the last week and not really noticed any changes. If I happen to burp after gulping them down with some drink though it does taste like raspberries. :)  I saw Dr. Oz approved of them though and thought they were worth a shot at minor help along the way, definitely not a substitute for anything. I know there is no magic pill! I'm just using up the 30 day supply we have and not planning on getting any more.

In other news, My friend Katie from Runs for Cookies made it on to Heather's Half Size Me Show this week!

For those that don't know about the Half Size Me show
Heather lost 170 pounds (108 of it with Weight Watchers) and she did it all while having 3 children (all of them c-sections), developing two hernias, and battling a life-long struggle with binge eating. Since achieving her goal weight, Heather has made it her mission to help other women, especially moms, realize they’re worth it too.

Join Heather every week for The Half Size Me Podcast where she shares information, inspiration, and interviews with women who’ve learned weight loss isn’t just about losing pounds, it’s about finding yourself.

On the back burner

Sorry guys but blogging has been on my to do list, I'm just not finding enough time in the day to get to it! lol. My job interview went alright I suppose but she said I wouldn't know anything for a few weeks. My eating has slipped a long with my exercising and I feel like I'm just full of excuses. It's really hard to get back on track with eating right and exercising though when you are so tired all the time. Having a newborn and trying to do this is way harder than it was doing it when my son was 2. Now having two kids and a fiance I feel like it's hard enough finding time for everyone else, let alone me. I know somethings gotta give soon though and I think my best bet is probably just to pick a certain time of day at least 3 days of the week that is just me time for exercising, running, whatever. Let everyone know, hey this is my time. Leave me to it! As far as the eating better... well I'm gonna try to purchase as much healthy stuff as I can that I can grab on the go. It's also difficult living here with my parents where there is still constantly junk stashed everywhere in the house.

Anyways though... enough of my complaining. Here is my little cutie Bethany in the most adorable outfit that my lovely blogger friend Taryn from over at Fat Girl In A Skinny World mailed to me while I was still pregnant, shortly after finding out I would be expecting a baby girl. :)

Thank you Auntie Taryn!! ♥

A job interview!

So during my community service this past Thursday I happened to get a phone call back from something I half-heartedly applied for about a week or so prior. I got an email from careerbuilder.com while I was on my phone one day and simply submitted a mobile resume which only really consisted of me giving them my name, email, address, and phone number. I then received an email back saying I would need to go online and do something else to complete the application but I was busy at the time so I didn't bother finishing up and thought oh well. I was really surprised they called because of how little effort on my part there was for it, but happy nonetheless. It went straight to voice-mail since I was busy working off my speeding tickets for the city but I planned to call them back on my lunch break. They ran out of things for me to clean a whole hour before lunch and she went ahead and said I could go home and she would give me credit for working the whole day even though she didn't need me to return after lunch. Yay! I hopped on my bicycle since I decided to ride in again that day and I rode it back to the house in such a great mood.

After I got home I called the number back immediately to find out all the details. The position is with Our365 which is a photography company that specializes in taking newborn pictures of babies at hospitals shortly after they're born. Doesn't that sound like fun?! lol. It does to me anyways. I had seen many positions for this company before over the last several years but this was the first time one had opened up near me. It is actually at the very same hospital I gave birth to my two children at. She asked me a few questions like if I had any photography experience or sales experience. I do not have any professional photography experience but it is a hobby I've had for a long time and something I used to think I wanted to do for a living. I took some random classes through Girl Scouts at a local college several years back but that's about as far as I had taken it. I was trying to apply at the Art Institute in Dallas a couple years ago but my school loans from when I attended SFASU held me back from even getting to apply there. No photography experience was needed for this job though, they were more interested if I had done any selling before. My last job was service writing for a tire and lube place so I had to sell oil changes, tires, and then try to talk them in to anything extra you might need for your car while you're there anyways. Before that I had worked as a concessionist at a movie theater where we were required to 'upsell' always asking them if they wanted to try a larger size drink or popcorn for only a quarter more or if they wanted candy or something to go with their order, etc. I also worked at the trading post at boy scout camp for several years selling souvenirs and refreshments and such. She seemed satisfied enough with those things and asked me to come in to the hospital on Tuesday at 11:30am for an interview.

I am so excited. She said that if I did get the position that I would be working Tuesdays through Saturdays starting at 9am and ending whenever I was finished taking pictures of all the new babies that had been born for that day. She said it usually takes about an hour for each baby and there were usually about 2-3 babies each day so I would be getting maybe 25-30 hours per week. The hospital is not too far away from where I have to drop off my son at school during the weekdays just before 8am. My friend Ashley lives not far from his school, so I could just kill time with her in the mornings before I had to go in for work. With it being a part time job, I am fairly sure I could be finished before I had to pick him up at school at 2:30pm. Right now my fiance isn't working but that could change at any moment. He's headed to a job fair this afternoon to see about another warehouse position. So if he gets a job soon and can't watch our daughter, then this is what I'm thinking. Tuesdays and Wednesdays my mom would still have to be sleeping so she could work those nights, but my dad might be able to help watch Bethany those days since he works from home. If not, I'm sure my friend Ashley would watch Bethany for relatively cheap for me. The rest of the week my mom would be available to help watch her. Here's hoping for good news tomorrow morning! Wish me luck. :)

As far as exercising and eating right are going, things are mostly on track still. I've been having foot issues and having to take things easier but I'm still getting in as much as I can. I got in the first of my netflix exercise dvds this weekend and am now able to do those. Did it for the first time last night and absolutely loved it. My son decided he wanted to do the whole thing with me. He wasn't very good at it, lol, but it was great seeing him try and have fun with it. My daughter was laying in the floor next to us watching him intently the whole time. Any time she spit out her paci and started to fuss about it though he was very helpful and put it back in for her so I could keep doing my workout uninterrupted. He's such a helpful big brother.

Mrs. Dash

I love Mrs. Dash. For those of you who don't know she's simply delicious. lol. It's a seasoning brand that you can use for cooking prety much anything. Burgers, Steaks, Chicken, Pork, and even vegetables! I love using the original blend on my green beans. The Garlic and Herb is great too and I usually add it when making chili or to meat when I'm adding meat to my spaghetti sauce. Anyways... They are giving away free samples of it on their facebook page and you can check that out here. I just wanted to share it here with you guys since it's not only great tasting but they are all also salt free!

On another note, someone mentioned they wanted to see some more pictures of Bethany so here's a few more professional pictures I had a friend take of her when she was 3 weeks old.

Here is a picture taken of her last week in a cute homemade onesie another friend made for us.

Now she is just over 7 weeks old and this is her right at this moment. She's sleeping in her carseat still because we just got home from taking Jett to school this morning. :)

30DS, Day three

So it's day 3 of doing the 30 day shred again and I'm really feeling the burn! On day 1 I forgot to follow up with a protein shake and I was super sore the next morning. Last night and tonight though I made sure I had my shake. Still feeling a bit sore but not near as much as after that first time back at it. lol. Things are going well and I can feel myself breathing a little easier through some of the workouts already.

As far as my calorie counting has gone I have managed to keep an average of about 1400/day without restricting myself too badly. I did catch myself this morning about to buy a donut though. lol. I was doing some grocery shopping and just happened to walk by the donuts while looking for something else and thought oooh I was craving a chocolate donut a couple months back (while I was still pregnant, mind you) and thought it kind of sounded good at the moment. After searching for a plain chocolate donut I only saw cream filled ones, which I really don't care much for anyways and considered for another moment that maybe I should get something else covered in chocolate. Then it dawned on me all of a sudden what I was doing. I took the time to stop and think about it and realized, hey wait a minute - you don't even need a chocolate donut in the first place because you already picked up one of those apple, grape, and cheese packs to snack on and just think of the added calories! Secondly, why would you try and substitute it with something way below your expectations and still ridiculously high in calories? After that it was easy to just push my buggy right past them all and head straight to the checkout lane. Hooray for small victories.

I did also manage to get in another 15 minute walk/jog on the treadmill today. Speaking of jogging though, I happened to run across a new blog tonight.  I found Running on Candy through a mutual blogger and found this post of hers that mentioned something I found really intriguing. I had been considering recently whether or not I wanted to try doing the couch to 5k program again to get back in the swing of things with my running but now I think I may do this instead. Apparently there is some sort of zombie app out there that you can use to keep you motivated to run. It will somehow have a zombie chase you and your gps will let you know if you ran fast enough to outrun the zombies or not. How cool is that? And now they seem to have some sort of zombie 5k training program, too. I can't wait to try this new app out! Woohoo!

In other good news, I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that in the last 2 days I've already dropped 4 lbs. Sweet deal!

A bad weekend

Well in terms of eating healthy and exercising I most definitely had a bad weekend. I went through some pretty stressful personal things mostly due to me being extra hormonal on my first postpartum period. Those are the worst. Not that you wanted to know, but I was going through super tampons every hour or two. The bathroom constantly looked like a murder scene. It was not fun. I was being pretty shitty to those around me which dug up some issues that needed to be dealt with, so I guess that's not all bad. Things got handled and I feel better about them now, however I spent my weekend lounging about and eating every thing in sight. The period cravings always get worse at night it seems and I just didn't even care to fight them the last couple days. I decided last night though that I would finish getting that out of my system and wake up a better me.

Today I ate a decent breakfast and then got on my phone to start uploading some apps to help keep me on track. I didn't care much for that Nexercise app since it didn't tell me anything about calories and the rewards it gave were not of much interest to me. I put Cardio Trainer back on my phone to keep up with my walking and jogging and I also put My Fitness Pal on there so I can log my food and count calories easier. 

This morning, when I stepped back on the scale to see the damage I had done and face the cold hard facts, an ugly 244.2 lbs was staring back at me. I spent 15 minutes on the treadmill and while I mostly walked, I did manage to get a little bit of jogging in, too. I wanted to start off slow and ease back in to my workout videos by doing some of the ones I had saved on my Netflix instant queue, however, when I attempted to bring them up I realized they were gone and apparently not even available instantly anymore. I went ahead and added them to my list to get mailed to me but in the mean time I still wanted to get some sort of dvd workout in. I really didn't want to start off with Jillian Michael's 30 day shred so soon but it was one of the easier things I had laying around so that's what I put in and did today. Sweated my ass off and it felt great but man I am definitely out of shape from where I used to be with it. lol. 

Anyways... Time for some new measurements and pictures. Got to put it out there so I can keep myself accountable. I'll be sharing the measurements I had from the very beginning of my journey and from the last time I recorded them, which was on November 15th of 2011 at 10 months in to my journey. 

Starting measurement > Last one > Current one > Difference from last
Bust - 51 in > 39 in > 46 in > +7
Waist - 53 in > 39 in > 48.5 in > +9.5
Hips - 58 in > 44 in > 54.5 in > +10.5
Arms - 17 in > 13 in > 16 in > +3
Thighs - 31 in > 24 in > 30 in > +6
Calves - 19.5 in > 16.5 in > 18.5 in > +2
Neck - 16.5 > 13 > 14 in > +1

Wow, first time I've seen all those numbers together. That's definitely an eye opener. Okay time for pictures.

Click here to see the last progress pictures I posted back in November of 2011.

Community Service

So I apparently had some unpaid traffic tickets from over a year or so ago and the police showed up at my door and arrested me at 8 months pregnant. Needless to say... not a good day for me. It was pretty awful and I'm pretty broke. We had to set up a payment plan but since I'm not working I'm relying on family to help me out. The judge said that after I had my baby and the doctor wrote me a note saying I was clear to work that she would let me work some of my fine off with community service. Well, I got my note on Tuesday, talked to the judge yesterday and set up my hours to work. I get to go in every Thursday (except Thanksgiving) until December 6th.

City hall is between a mile to 2 miles from my house so I decided to ride my bike there this morning and rode my bike back home at lunch. That totaled about 30 minutes of bike riding for today and I am most definitely feeling it, especially after being on my feet all day working for the city. After lunch, I had my mom drop me off since it sprinkled on me on the way home and I didn't wanna be caught in the rain later. They ran out of things for me to clean though at 2:35 so I ended up being released 2 hours early today. Sweet deal. lol. I decided to go ahead and just walk home since the sky had cleared up and it was bright and sunshiney outside. I got half way there and my dad started driving past me just after he finished picking Jett up at school so I hopped in with them and rode the rest of the way home. lol. I walked about 20 minutes though so that coupled with my bicycling was definitely a workout today, not to mention all the cleaning I had to do. I dusted, swept, mopped, vacuumed  and wiped down pretty much everything in the building at City hall and the civic center next door to it, too. My arms and legs are both a little noodle-y feeling now.

Having to work today has been really good for my calorie counting though, lol. I have been too busy to stop and think about eating anything extra that I don't really need. Yesterday, I made the mistake of  not looking up the calorie count on a drink first thing in the morning. After dropping Jett off at school with my mom she offered to buy me a drink at McDonald's or Sonic. I wanted to see if I could win anything else on the Monopoly game from McDonald's so we went there and to get a game piece I ordered a large caramel frappe`. It was delicious but holy hell was I upset when I realized the damage I had done. Well over 600 calories for that one drink. I managed to do right at 2,000 calories by the end of the day. I'm not gonna be too hard on myself for that number, but I won't be drinking that many calories again any time soon! I'd much rather eat the majority of my calories for each day, if not all of them. To make matters worse, I just got 2 board game pieces, no instant wins!  lol. Totally not worth it. Oh well, lesson learned.

Feeling the burn

Day 2 back in the habit and I'm already feeling the burn. lol. It feels absolutely great. I love the high you get from working out. When you are really sweating and body parts are tingling you just know that you are improving your muscle strength one step at a time.

The week that I gave birth to Bethany my neighbor ended up giving away a treadmill or selling it super cheap, I'm not sure which, but my mom ended up taking it. So today I hopped on the treadmill and did some intervals of walking and jogging. When I stepped it up a notch and first started jogging I instantly felt that familiar pang of "omg your whole body is jiggling!" lol. I could definitely feel the difference from the last time I jogged when I didnt have near as much extra baggage around my waist and hips and well everywhere. I'm okay with it though. That just makes me that much more determined to keep at it until I'm back down to where I was before and then keep on pressing past it. I really missed running and I'm so glad I get the chance to fall in love with it all over again. ♥

A New Poison, Take 2!

Today is the day I get to start all over. Scary, exciting, and anticipated for soo very long now. Here it is finally come. So... guess who showed up today to congratulate me on making it to 6 weeks post-partum so now I am free to start actively trying to lose weight and working out again? Aunt Flo... that bitch.

Minus that little setback, all is going well. I'm taking it easy on myself and slowly getting back in to the swing of things. The internet was down here most of the day today so I didnt get to do the netflix instant play workout I intended on doing. Instead I turned on my Wii Fit Plus and hopped back on the Wii board. I knew it had been a long time since I played it but wow, well over a year apparently. Here is what I seen today...

I've gone up almost 50 lbs since the last time I used the Wii. Damn... but oh well. I needed to see where I was so I know how far I have to go. So I'm currently sitting at 241 lbs. In 2011, I managed to lose an average of 12 lbs per month all year long, although the first month was considerably the most. I still have a goal weight of 150 lbs eventually but right now I'm going to focus on aiming to lose 30 lbs before 2013 arrives. I really think if I try and do a little more each day than the one before that I will get there as surely as I did before.

I started counting calories again today. I decided that to begin with I wasn't going to set myself an exact limit. Last time I was trying to stay at  roughly 1200 calories per day but so far I am just counting how many I consume today and making note of it. I know that being conscious of how many there are is a big part of mentally preparing myself for what I'm actually doing to my body. I have no doubts I was consuming closer to 2,000-2,500 cals/day recently, but that is hopefully all out of my system now.  I just finished dinner about an hour ago and am sitting at 1395. I may or may not have a small snack some time before bed. I was hoping to stay under 1800 calories at the most so I have already done better than I gave myself credit for in the first place. :)

Gearing up for my comeback...

In anticipation of Tuesday I have been trying to get all my bad eating desires out of the way this past week and refreshing my memory on how to eat less and move more. Received an email from sparkpeople with a very helpful article that serves as a reminder to me on what all I need to do to keep my portions in control so I thought I would share it here with you guys.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/slideshow.asp?show=40

I have used every single one of these tips in the past and they work so well! Time for me to start focusing on them again and making sure my eating is under control or else the working out will be kind of useless... for weight-loss purposes anyways.

My fiance started a new job this past week so he has been gone a lot and I am on my own with the baby and with Jett after school for a few hours. This has left me with little time to do as much walking as I had hoped for but none the less I did manage to get some in. Today I even broke out my bicycle, aired up the tires, and took it around the block. I enjoyed getting back on it even though it's been probably over a year since I last rode. That saying about riding a bike is true though, once you learn how then you never forget. :) My chains are definitely gonna need some WD-40 though because I was awful squeaky headed down the street. lol.

October... the best month EVER... seriously :D

Hah, so I'm a bit of an October freak I guess. I am so super pumped it's finally here! This has got to be the absolute best time of year. I know I've said that like a billion times, but man.. I am just so excited! haha.

Not too much has changed around here just yet. I still have one more week from tomorrow until my final post partum checkup. October 9th is the big day though and by then my doctor should clear me to finally start working out again. I am very excited for the go ahead but I am also a little bit scared or nervous maybe. I'm not exactly sure why. I just don't want to over exert myself from the get go and at the same time I don't wanna do too little and disappoint myself. Its been sooo long since I've really tried doing anything and so I'm not sure where I stand really. Only way to find out is to do it though. :)

Congratulations are in order for fellow blogger Mary over at A Small Loss! I'll let you read her post to find out why. ;) If you're not already a follower of hers you should definitely add her to your list because she's full of wonderful advice and tips on living a healthier lifestyle and is so well written. I always enjoy anything she has to say, even the things that aren't really about weightloss. :D

We went to the Zoo!

Yup... so I went to the Dallas Zoo yesterday with my family and even some extended family and also met up with fellow blogger, Ziona over at I want to look like a pinup! Had a great day with the kids and it was Bethany's first major outing. I was exhausted from being up all night with her the night before but still managed to have a good time anyways. Got a lot of walking in, that's for sure!

I've walked every day for the past week except today. Planned on doing some walking with my fiance today but he ended up taking a long midday nap and I didnt wanna bother him since we were also up pretty late with Bethany last night, too. I figured one rest day wasn't so bad. We'll pick back up tomorrow.

I also jump started my stroller group back up again this past week. We had one successful meetup on Friday so far. :) Already have another meetup planned for this Friday and possibly another on Saturday, too.

And in other news, a friend of mine introduced me to a new app called Nexercise where you can have fun losing weight by kind of making it in to a game where you earn points and rewards. I've been using it this past week and like it so far. I haven't checked too deeply in to how to redeem points or rewards just yet, but if anyone else has it be sure to let me know so we can friend request each other.

Back to basics

Well my baby girl is 3 weeks old today. That means I have 3 more weeks until my doctor clears me for getting back to my regular workout routines. In the mean time I have started walking again. So far I'm down about 20 lbs from when I gave birth. That's not to mention the extra weight I gained after being readmitted to the hospital with an infection and pumped full of fluids for 3 days. So in actuality it's been more than that.

I cannot wait until I can start running again though. I am so pumped. The weather changed here over this past weekend and its finally cooled off again! Autumn is absolutely my favorite time of year and I am so excited to see all the leaves starting to fall and even change colors already. It's rained a bit lately too and that has helped things chill out a bit, not to mention all the wind that has been picking up. I am so in love with this season!

Today I went for a walk with just me and my daughter and she was awake for about the first 20 minutes. She kept looking around at all the sights and sounds and just calmly enjoying being outside with her momma. :) Then as we were about half a mile from the house I noticed something strange out of the corner of my eye. To my surprise I did a double take and then saw this creature laying completely still while looking at us. It was so motionless that I even questioned myself for a minute whether or not it was a toy.

Sure enough, after snapping this picture it decided it better turn around and slither back into the bushes directly behind it. I tried to video it but it was too fast to really see much of anything. lol.

Good news and bad news...

Well I'll start with the good... My baby girl is finally here! yay! I'm just gonna copy and past my labor story in here so I don't have to rewrite it all. lol.

This is my second birth and my first child was so easy so I knew my little girl was going to make things hard on me. lol. After several hospital trips and dr appts where I thought for sure my baby girl was getting ready to come I set up an induction for Tuesday August 28th at 5am.

I get there right on time and after I signed all of the paper work. They check me for dilation and I'm still at a 3, same as the last couple weeks. The baby is high and moving a lot as per usual. After waiting around for whatever I finally get pitocin started at 6:30am. My contractions start coming more regularly but nothing too terrible just yet. At 8:44am my doctor finally shows up to break my water after I get checked again and they see I am 5cm now. Shortly after this I start feeling my contractions pick up and get much stronger and closer together. I wait around hoping I can hold out for awhile to assure that I am dilating far enough so that I don't get the epi too early. With my son I got the epi at 7 or 8cm but it was starting to wear off just as he was crowning and so I felt every bit of pushing him out except for my legs were still numb. Finally I can no longer sit still or breathe right through the pain so I call the nurse to ask for some IV pain meds. She said the anesthesiologist was actually already on the floor with another patient so if I was ready for the epi he would come in shortly. It felt like forever but was probably just a few minutes. 10:40am he is there to give me an epi. As I'm sitting up trying to get in the right position I keep getting contractions only a couple minutes apart and I think wow he is taking forever to do this. lol. He finally gets it in but I'm still not feeling any relief. My legs are a little tingly but thats it. He goes off to give another girl her epi and they told me if it didnt start working soon to let them know. When they come back to check me I am at 8cm and I tell them I'm still feeling every contraction and they are only getting worse, not better. I want to cry they hurt so bad and my stomach is in agony. They call the anesthesiologist back to see what's wrong and come to find out the first epi is just leaking down my back not doing much of anything for me. They take it out and give me a 2nd epidural and this time I finally get some relief but started to feel pressure while i was sitting up getting that 2nd epi. It's about 11:06 at the point they finished there and check me again to see that I'm fully dilated and the baby's head is considerably lower. Now we waited a few minutes for the dr to show back up and as soon as she gets there I get to start pushing. I was to push about 4 times with each contraction and it only took 3 or 4 contractions get get her all the way out.

At 11:23am my baby girl, Bethany, was born! 7lbs 4oz and 20 inches long. 13 and 1/2 inch head with a 12 and 1/2 inch chest.

here are some hospital pics a photographer friend did for me









and here are some 3 day old newborn pics another photographer friend did for me.
















Now for the bad news... as I said before... I knew this little girl wasn't gonna make things easy on me! I woke up a few days ago with some post-partum complications. I literally felt like I was dying and didn't know what to do. So I have spent 6 out of the last 9 days in a hospital. Here's a copy and paste of the story on that.

I woke up in agonizing abdominal pain early Monday morning at 3am and was shaking so much from being cold that it felt almost like a seizure. I had my fiance take me to the local emergency room and there they told me I had a fever of 102.2. They took my blood, gave me an exam, and did a cat scan. The blood and cat scan showed nothing abnormal but from the exam they determined that I must have some sort of infection in my uterus. They ended up making me take an ambulance to the hospital in a bigger city where I gave birth and decided to do cultures on my blood to see if they could figure out what type of bacteria was causing the infection. I was immediately put on antibiotics to try and kill the infection. At one point my fever ended up spiking again and was at 103. They then decided to give me another type of antibiotic and kept switching out giving me both of them since they still didnt have results from my cultures yet to determine which one I really needed. After that I didn't have any more fevers. The pain kept coming and going throughout taking pain meds to try and control it. I was told yesterday that I could finally go home that evening as long as nothing else went wrong and they would just prescribe me both antibiotics until they got back the culture results. They took me off the IV's that morning and said they would start giving me pills to get me ready to go home. A short while later a nurse came back in and said she was just gonna give me one last bag of antibiotics but she didnt double check where my needle was at and apparently it had removed itself from my vein whenever she pulled out the other IV's earlier. So instead of pumping antibiotics into my veins it just started filling up my hand like it was a waterballoon. That was incredibly painful and I had to call her back in there to come take it out right away. After some warm rags and elevation the swelling went down a lot but it still looked very puffy and still does today even. Made it home last night but the pharmacy only had one of my antibiotics so I have to go get the other one at some point today from a different pharmacy. Still feeling kinda awful but much better than I was Monday I suppose. I have no idea what really happened to me though and hoping when the cultures come back I'll have some real answers. My 2wk postpartum checkup is on Tuesday so maybe by then I'll know something.

So yeah... that is the craziness that has been my life lately. Ugh... hopefully the worst is finally really over now. Crossing my fingers anyways...

A new chapter begins...

So much is changing around here and so very soon! I'm anxious to see where life will take me next and it's definitely been cause for some restlessness these past few days.

Two false labor trips to the hospital and a regular Dr appointment this week has me expecting Bethany to arrive on Tuesday morning. I go in to be induced at 5am and so I'll be meeting my little girl sometime within the next 3 days.

My oldest starts his very first day of school on Monday. We went and did a meet the teacher night on Thursday and he's really looking forward to getting to play in his classroom and make new friends. I am happy for him and looking forward to the extra time alone with the baby, but I'm also sad he's growing up so fast.

While in the hospital yesterday morning waiting around in between getting checked by the nurses, my boyfriend is casually chatting with me about this, that, and the other. Then out of nowhere he says something along these lines... Hey so I know this isn't great timing with me being broke and jobless at the moment, but I really think I'd like to get married to you someday. It wasn't quite a proposal seeing as there was no yes or no question I guess, lol. I did tell him I felt the same though and would enjoy marrying him eventually one day. At this point I wasn't exactly sure if I should consider myself engaged or not, but after getting sent home he asked me while driving back to the house if it was alright for him to start referring to me as his fiance. I said sure it was. I guess that answers that. :)

All great things ahead for me in the near and far off future, but still a little nerve racking. So while I'm looking forward to all these changes, I am getting very little sleep these days. I can't wait to see how everything all turns out, yet at the same time I wanna try and just enjoy this moment in my life and how happy I truly am with it all.

My baby boy is growing up so fast!

Four years ago this morning, I was preparing to go in and get checked out at my 39week appointment. I knew the previous week I was 5cm and was barely allowed to go home and wait it out after being monitored for several hours to see if I was having any regular contractions yet, so I went ahead and took my bags with me. After getting called in to the examination room at my doctor's office and being checked out she saw that I was already dilated 7cm and said alright lady you're having a baby today! Go to the hospital now and I'll be over shortly to come break your water. By 9:11pm that night I gave birth to a very healthy and active baby boy who amazes me more and more each day. Happy Birthday Jett! I can't believe he's starting school in just under 2 weeks now. Being 9 months pregnant with his little sister I get the joy of crying over all these little things today. Pretty soon that same doctor will help me bring her in to the world as well. Today is full of so many emotions. ♥

20ish days left...

Yeah pretty much. My baby girl is due in about 23 days now but I'm willing to bet she'll be here shortly before that. I'm thinking by the end of August. I hit 37 weeks this Tuesday which also happens to be my son's 4th birthday. Can't believe its already been 4 years since I was getting ready to have him. Craziness for sure! Anyways... had my last ultrasound done a little over a week ago. Finally got the pictures and video up so thought I'd share them here. :)

Profile shot of her forehead, nose, mouth, and hand up by her face. We are both wondering where she got that little round nose from though. haha

pointing to her girly parts on the left. that bit white part on the bottom is one of her legs. :)

good strong heart rate at 138bpm

32 weeks today!

So I'm 32 weeks along in my pregnancy with baby girl Bethany as of today. :) I've got 8 weeks left, give or take... Jett came 5 days early and since it's common for babies to come earlier than the previous I would expect her to be here sometime around the end of August! Time is finally starting to pick up a little. lol. I am so ready to have my own body back! Sharing your body with another person has to be the hardest thing in the world to deal with. I'm not ready to deal with a preemie or anything like that, but I am ready to be holding that cute little baby girl in my arms and enjoying every moment of my last child's firsts. I am also very excited to finally get back to my weightloss journey!! I am pretty thrilled thinking about how after my 6 weeks of healing is up the weather will be cool enough to start running again! Yay!

I am not proud to say I have put back on a lot of the weight I lost. I'm up about 55 lbs already and the baby is supposed to be gaining around 1/2 lb per week from here on out. yikes! I am very motivated to get back on track though and drop it all over again. I know I've got the know how and the support to get me back in the skin I was just finally starting to get comfortable in.

Here's a couple pictures of me that were taken sometime since the last time I posted pics. 24 weeks, 30 weeks, and Independence day.

My baby shower is happening on July 28th and one of my friends who is coming is a photographer. The shower is being held at an Arboretum so it's perfect for taking pictures at. She offered to take some maternity pictures of me while there, so yay! She's also going to do a newborn photoshoot of Bethany sometime during her 1st week of life just so she can have them for her portfolio, and then I am giving her an old wooden toddler sized rocking chair as a photo prop in exchange for her doing a family session of the 5 of us (Me, my son, boyfriend, his son, and our daughter) sometime later this year. :D

A few of you had been asking me about getting things for the baby. Anyone is more than welcome to order something off our registry if you'd like to help out. It will ship whatever items you get straight to me. We are registered at Walmart, Target, and Babies R Us. You can find me by looking up Jennifer Mercer, due date is September 4th. Of course if you just wanna pick something out yourself and mail it here I can privately message you my address. Thanks guys, we appreciate everything! <3

3rd trimester!

So we've made it to the 3rd Trimester and we're in the home stretch. Just about 3 more months until little Bethany makes her debut. Of course until then she's going to try and make me as uncomfortable as possible to say the least. lol. Here is a short video she allowed me to capture tonight. It's a mild insight to what my nights are normally like lately. She got a lot more violent after I switched the camera off of course!

Time for a new NSV!!!

So I was told after taking my glucose test last tuesday that I would be called within 1 week to be told results if i needed to prep for a 3 hour test and go on a special 3 day diet before my next appt. Here it is 9 days later and I have no phone call so I called them today and asked and they said my results came back normal so woohoo no 3 hour test for me!!! I'm so excited!! lol. YAY NO Gestational Diabetes!!!! I didn't have it last time either, but I did have to take the 3 hr and that was lame and boring. lol. I'm positive it's because I'm so much healthier this time around and weigh drastically less than I did 4 years ago though. ^_^

She's kicking up a storm!

Took me a while, but I finally caught her kicking me on film! You can only see her doing it a little bit here, but this goes on all night long usually. lol. And sometimes it's more painful than others... She's a little wiggle worm in there having parties or celebrating something it seems. haha. 

oh and while I'm here, here is a picture of me from 21 weeks, the morning before I found out I was having a girl. Got another picture taken yesterday but my friend hasn't uploaded it yet.

Found out my baby's sex!

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YAY! I'm soooo relieved to know I'm having a little baby girl! With my son Jett and my boyfriend's son Dustin, I was afraid I'd be stuck with 3 boys and drive myself completely insane. lol.  Here are a few pictures, too.

Going to name her Bethany Kate :) My best friend of over 26 years' middle name is Beth and I've always wanted to incoorporate it in a girl's name for as long as I can remember. We picked Kate just because it was something we both agreed we didn't hate and it had one syllable. Bethany already has 3 and his last name has 2 so I didn't want her name to be a huge mouthful.

The baby was measuring at exactly 21 weeks when I went in for my appt last Tuesday so everything is right on track. Had a heartbeat of 154 bpm. Can't believe in just a few short months I'll have a new baby on my hands... craziness!

Almost to the half way point!

I suppose its time for another update. This picture was taken at 18 weeks, but I will be 20 weeks along this Tuesday! That makes my pregnancy half done since they typically last 40 weeks. Jett showed up 5 days early though and consecutive pregnancies often come earlier and earlier.

Been feeling the baby kick a lot and wiggle around all randomly throughout the day now. Only a week and 2 days until I find out if it's a girl or a boy. Right now all my intuition says girl still and I'm hoping that it's correct. Got a 50% chance! lol.

Not really any news to share about exercising or eating right. I'm just trying to get by without worrying too much so I don't end up sending myself in the wrong direction and stop eating or something stupid like that.

With a bit of a mind flip you're there in the time slip...

So I know I said I would keep up with this blog still and not give up on it just because I got pregnant. I have had and do still have every intention of doing so. That being said, I realize it's now been over a month since my last blog post. While it's not really a good excuse, it's the truth, but I have just been so overwhelmed with my emotions during the times that I actually have had time to say something, the rest of the time I've been crazy busy doing this that and the other.

My boyfriend finally moved back to Texas and so now I'm spending a lot more time with him. I'm also busy doing things with my son now that it's spring time and we can get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine more and more these days. I have Dr appointments and playdates and family outings and everything else going on. But mostly it's been some sort of emotional disconnection and depression I've been having that has kept me from posting here. Not because I do not wish to share the bad things as well as the good here, as I've always stated I will try my best to tell it like it is. Just because it's been hard for me to cope with things and understand everything I've been feeling enough to even have something to say that wasn't just an entirely too jumbled mess to understand.

It's strange to feel so emotionally conflicted. I love love love that I'm having another baby. There were many times I thought I either wouldn't be able to because of how bad I messed up my health or that I wasn't going to because I thought I'd remain single the rest of my life. Then I think about all the hard work I put in this past year and how I was so happy in my skin finally and now I feel just as awkward as before, if not worse because I feel like so many people were expecting me to just put all the weight back on anyways and I wanted to be able to be like um no, I got this. lol. Oh well. It's something that's constantly on my mind because when I decided to get healthy last year I surrounded myself in every way possible with healthy images and people. I covered my desktop wallpaper and screensaver in all these pictures of reasons to get fit and stay that way and then I added all these friends and bloggers on similar journeys and I see them still posting every single day about losing more weight and becoming one step healthier and so its always in my face. I wont delete the pictures though because I want them for when I'm working hard on myself again and I know I should still be staying as healthy as I can during pregnancy even if I'm not hitting the exercise as hardcore as I used to. I wont delete the new friends, because they are just that, friends who care about me and have offered so much wonderful advice and encouragement, etc. I still want to be there for them and be supportive.

I just wish I knew more people like me who lost a whole lot of weight and then got pregnant. I knew one woman who was in the same boat as me and we were even only a couple weeks apart at most, but she lost her baby about a month ago. I can't really talk to her anymore because she's pretty much upset with the world and all her other pregnant friends, etc. I don't blame her or anything though and can't imagine what she's going through. I just wish I had someone who I can relate to on this journey the same way I had so many of you I could relate to on my journey last year.

Anyways... as far as the good things go, I am very much in love with my boyfriend and he is crazy about me so things couldn't be more wonderful there. My son loves him just as much and seems to be okay with there being a baby in my belly. He tells me that someday he will have a baby in his belly too no matter how many times I say it's not gonna happen, lol. I will be 18 weeks on Tuesday and so I'm just 2 weeks away from being half way through! At 21 weeks I have my next doctor's appointment and will finally be finding out the sex of my baby! I'm so excited to know so I can continue buying but be more specific with colors and such. I've bought so many things already, lol. I just can't help it. Tiny things are way cute. I figure I can exchange anything I got that was too girly or too boyish whichever way it turns out. I'm still really hoping this is a girl and so is everyone else in our families and friends. My boyfriend refuses to refer to the baby as anything other than she or her until proved otherwise. lol. We have a girl's name picked out but nothing for a boy yet since he doesn't really wanna think of it being a boy. I can't imagine a better boy's name than Jett so I hope I don't have to come up with one. lol. Her name will be Bethany Kate though as long as it's a girl. I need to take some more belly pictures but here is the last one I took at 13 weeks.



I can't wait to have more sonogram pictures and video to show everyone in a few more weeks. :)

I can't wait until spring!

Yesterday was amazing... it was in the 80s here in Texas and I loved every minute of it. I even put on a sundress and flip flops! The few days before that were just as great. We went out to the Dallas Zoo this week and also had a few different playdates with other kids Jett's age and it's been nice driving around with my windows down breathing in all the fresh air. Today the high is only going to be in the 50s though so its back to wearing jeans and my jacket.

Been sick every morning still but that's a good sign so oh well. Hopefully soon that will lighten up since I am almost to the 2nd trimester! I have an appointment on Tuesday and will find out then when I get to schedule my appt for finding out my baby's sex! I cannot wait! I want to buy everything I see but keep talking myself out of it because I don't wanna get a bunch of neutral colored stuff. lol.

I went bike riding the other day and pulled Jett behind me in the bike trailer. The hills were freaking killer! I think I'll stick to walking for awhile before I get back out there and try that again. lol. I can't wait til the weather starts to get warm and actually stay that way because I am so looking forward to doing a lot of swimming this summer! That's something I still need to do though is find a decent maternity swimsuit... hmmm... any suggestions on where to look?

If it's not one thing it's another!

Got over my ear infection mostly and then came down with some sort of cold I guess. I've been coughing things up all week long and its not helping with my morning sickness at all. Blehhhh.

I still can't fully hear out of my left ear yet and it's driving me absolutely insane. I've got a funny voice when I talk right now and just ... grr.

I have started feeling the baby wiggle around a bit though. It's not much and yes it's kinda early for that but I'm sure it's the baby and not just gas or whatever. I think losing a lot of weight probably has a lot to do with me feeling it earlier this time, not to mention it being my 2nd pregnancy so of course I would. Coolness though. I can't wait til it's kicking around more where you can feel it on the outside and see it moving around like some weird alien. haha.

I'm still alive... :D

Yeah I do still plan on blogging my health and fitness journey throughout this pregnancy! I know some of you were concerned I might stop. I was on hiatus this past week a bit but that was just because I was sicker than heck. Ughhhh I felt like I was dying. I'm actually still getting over it but hopefully by tomorrow it will be gone fully... maybe Monday at the latest. Please? lol. I've had a middle ear infection. Those things hurt bad by themselves, but when you are pregnant and you get sick, everything hurts worse and longer! Last time I was pregnant I got a cold and it lasted for 2 weeks instead of just one. I was soo miserable. My ear has been causing me soo much pain this past week. There were a couple days I couldnt really eat anything because it hurt too bad to open up my jaw far enough to get food in there. I was drinking applejuice all day long and anything I did manage to eat I threw it up. There was lots and lots of vomitting going on this week. I ended up dropping 5 lbs! Not how I wanted to do that... bleh.

But I can finally eat again so yay! I;m finally not too dizzy to sit in front of the computer fo rany length of time so yay!

Also my son had pink eye all this past week too so that's been keeping me busy as well.

Not much going on with my eating or exercise habits to report so I guess I've not got much to say other than hello out there... I'm still here! lol.

My ultrasound video!

had to go to youtube to get it to upload correctly.

This is my 9 week ultrasound taken on January 31st 2012. I am due on Sept 4th!
If you turn the volume all the way up you can actually hear the heartbeat during that part of the scan.

Thank you so much to everyone who has congratulated me and wished me well. <3 I really appreciate it!!

The secret's out!

So as a few of you know, and some of you may have suspected... I'm going to have a baby! I had to wait to share the news publicly with you guys until after I told my family first. I found out just before the new year so that is why my goals for living healthy in 2012 have changed pretty drastically. I no longer wish to be losing those last 20 lbs I had to go... and now I'm actually up to 189(with clothes and shoes on) as of my Dr's appt yesterday. I have put on about 10 lbs since finding out I was pregnant which is kind of a lot this early on, but at the same time I was eating 1200 calories per day and now I'm eating quite a bit more than that so it's to be expected to have a bit of a leap on the scale right away. Kinda like when someone diets for a time period and then goes back to eating how they used to, its much easier to gain it back and much faster. I'm trying not to fret too much and let this screw with my mind about my weight issues, etc... but it is going to be a challenge. Ideally I would like to stay under 200 lbs with this pregnancy, but I really need to stop focusing on numbers and just worry about continuing to eat better and make the healthiest choices possible while eating things that don't make me vomit instantly. lol. I've had a ton of morning sickness already and heartburn and gas and bloating and all those other fun early pregnancy symptoms.

I haven't been exercising as hardcore anymore of course and that's why I decided against P90x and joining the weightloss challenge. I do plan to stay active though and workout whenever I feel up to it. I've been walking and jogging some still. I hit up the fitness center all last week and today I even went to a huge bounce house playroom building full of slides and other cool stuff with my son and my boyfriend and his son and we all wore each other out bouncing around through all of those. It was definitely a workout. lol.

For those curious.. I am just over a couple months along right now and due on September 4th! I just might be able to get back on track to where I was headed by the end of 2012... we'll see. lol. I was sooo looking forward to summer time this year and a cuter bathing suit... but now it looks like I'm gonna be hot as heck all summer instead and have to find a maternity swimsuit, hah. I was due with Jett in August so I know just how bad it sucks to be pregnant all summer long. Oh well... Here's hoping I get a girl this time around! :) I should know sometime in April...

I also have a video of my ultrasound but blogger failed to upload it after me sitting here for an hour so screw it.. I'll share the video later. grr.

I did add a new ticker to the top of my page though.. I'll share it here as well.